This warning is for fashionable women everywhere who partake in the wearing of the oh-so-chic neck scarves. Little do you know, Women of the Scarf (WOTS), that those very same accessories which bring you so much joy and confidence, may also bring injury...injuries so terrible that they may not be spoken on this family-friendly network.
In lieu of those terrible scarf injury descriptions, we have provided a pictorial reference. Please, please print out these photos, and place them in those areas around your house you deem the most dangerous...to the scarf.
Our safety preparedness team has taken the ultimate precautions in producing these Scarf Re-enactments. WOTS, please DO NOT try this at home. In an effort to educate the fashionable public, Scarf Professionals were used to pose these shots. Again, DO NOT try this at home!!
(No animals were harmed during this re-enactment)
BEWARE OF THE DANGEROUS SCARF AROUND THE HOUSE:
Danger danger, Will Robinson!!! Do you see the scarf dangerously inching herself towards the searing red stove? STEP BACK FROM THE STOVE.
"AAAAHHHHH!!! Hot oven, hot oven!!" That pesky scarf is not only slinking towards the red hot element, she is also dirtying herself on the greasy oven door. Bad scarf.
Well, look who jumped out of the oven and into the frying pan...er, pan full of soapy bubbles. Silly scarf, tricks are for kids!
WARNING: The next pictures may be especially disturbing to some viewers. Please use discretion.
The kitchen's not the only place that pesky scarf gets into trouble... When working around toilets, be especially vigilant: The scarf loves nothing more than skimming over the smooth porcelain to grab a quick dip in the cool water... You certainly don't want anyone asking, "Where'd you get your clothes...from the...toilet store?"
And always, ALWAYS beware when practicing with your 1894 Winchester Lever Action around the house. The scarf always says, "A gun is a tool MarytheKay, no better or worse than the woman who uses it."
We hope this Public Service Announcement was helpful to you. Use extreme caution when wearing the scarf...or when accessorizing with anything fashionable. Accessories are fun, until someone gets hurt. Then, it's not fun. It's un-fun.
Please talk to you kids about scarves. Talking to your kids about the dangers of the scarf isn't as hard as you think. It just may save a life...or a really cute scarf you bought at Old Navy for like $12 with a 10% off coupon.
TUNE IN NEXT WEEK when we will provide another riveting service announcement regarding
The Household Hazards of Wearing the Scottish Kilt...
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