I don't know about you, but around here, we just love to have wedding showers for couples. You know, so the gift-giving is more interesting, and frankly, so is the conversation. Ya add men to the mix, and it becomes more of a PARTY, and less of a let's see how many forks and spoons the bride can open this morning.
Around these parts, we call these wedding showers--Honey Do Showers.
The Shower. In honor of the Royal Wedding this week, I'd like to take this opportunity to invite William and Kate to a good old fashioned Honey Do Wedding Shower--just like we do it here in the South. I just know they'd feel welcome, and I'm sure they'd love the creative gifts. Plus, there's no better party food than at a Southern shower.
The Food. Forget the uptight brie and salad nicoise bites. Honey, we'd fix it up right for the Royals--Oh, there'd be pigs in a blanket, or just the cocktail weiners, for those watching the carbs. (Complete with frilly toothpics for serving, since royalty and all.) There would be at least 3 different jello salads, in an array of pastel colors. Lime, bing cherry, and blueberry for sure. Delicate petit fours decorated with assorted "honey do" tools piped with icing on top are a given. I know Sherl would want to make her mini rice krispie tiaras. She's been dying to try them out, and is convinced her Rice Krispie blog would go viral. And what do you say to the preacher's wife? No self-respecting Southern shower forgets to have a silver dish of mixed nuts and pastel mints at the end of the buffet table. To top it off, we would put out our best crystal punch bowl, and serve our favorite rainbow sherbet and ginger ale punch.
The Venue. Oh, but I'm getting ahead of myself! First, we'd greet William and Kate at the front door. Why, of course, it would be at a home, silly! Of all the hostesses
throwing the shower, it's always understood that the fanciest house of the group is the shower house. Especially if that house is in a Country Club neighborhood. Nothing adds class to a wedding shower more than a golf cart or two in the vicinity.
The Greeting. We'd station Miss Martha at the front door, because she knows everybody in town. Plus, I think she's been to England before, so she would make the Royals feel right at home. She'd help Kate pin on her pink rosebud and wire whisk corsage, and would get Kate to help William pin on his white carnation and screwdriver boutonnière.
The Seating. The Royal couple would be ushered to the seats of honor. Thankfully, the Smiths have matching leather barcaloungers--which we'd decorate with yellow caution construction tape. The barcaloungers make the perfect setting for all the pictures we'll take as William and Kate open their presents. And, of course we've secured W. I. to do the photography. Our family doesn't compromise on 2 people, and they are W.I. and Miss Barbara.
The Gifts. Oh, don't worry about the gifts! We made sure to help out the couple by registering for them at the local Walmarts and Ace Hardware. We tried to think of everything that might help the Royal Couple get their new home set up in style. Here's a sampling of what we registered for the happy couple:
A Lil' Smokey charcoal grill - These are always one of the biggest hits at any Honey Do shower. William and Kate will be able to invite the Queen over for some hot dogs once they get settled in their new place.
Lawn chairs - Well, the Queen does have to sit somewhere at the weenie roast! We felt red was the royalest of colors offered at Walmarts.
Ice chest - filled with the IBC Root beer. We've heard that the Royal Couple can't get enough of the stuff. They especially love the glass bottle style!
Waffle maker - We hear the Prince fancies waffles for breakfast. This dandy will help Kate whip up morning waffles in no time at all!
Trash can - Or as the British are so fond of saying, "rubbish bins." The stainless steel finish will help the Royal couple dispose of their rubbish in style.
Laundry basket - filled with cleaning goodies. We don't want to ignore poor Kate altogether! Brides especially love a laundry basket filled with all the tools she'll need for a Saturday morning cleaning...laundry detergent, dryer sheets, toilet scrub brush, window cleaner, feather duster--and of course hot pink rubber gloves. We wouldn't want Kate ruining her manicures on cleaning day, now would we?
Picnic basket - We hear Kensington Palace Garden is especially nice for picnics.
Ice cream maker- One of my personal favorite gifts to give young couples. Nothing says carefree summer days like homeade ice cream. Plus, ice cream is fancy in any language! Every time the couple makes ice cream, they'll smile as they remember their one-of-a-kind American Honey Do Shower.
The Mack-Daddy of all Honey Do Showers: The Wet-Dry Shop Vac. This gift will gather a crowd of men like no other gift. Men with glazed eyes will began muttering things like HP numbers and CFMs and accessory attachments. Sweet Kate will have no idea what the men are talking about, but William will understand what a gem of a gift this one is! This gift is proof to the extended Royal Family that William knows his way around a garage.
The Invitations- We'll get the invites out just as soon as we get them back from VistaPrint. They are a little behind schedule, because for some reason, the Queen needed to approve the wording. She had to call us to find out exactly what a "Honey Do" Shower was...
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