MarytheKaytheBlog

Who's Sammy Lane?

With our 20th wedding anniversary coming up, I decided to write about our love story. Please join me in the upcoming days as I tell  A Summer Camp Love Story.

Need to catch up?  Part 1--Our Love Story Starts with: A List; Part 2--A Girl on the Boys' Side, and a Boy on the Girls' Side; Part 3--A Dance...with a Promise; Part 4--Questions, Goodies, and Boat Rides; Part 5--One Fateful Boat Ride; Part 6--Waiting on our First Date to Happen

..........

 

Before our 2nd date, Dave had sent me a camp goodie--a little camp note--telling me, "You remind me of Sammy Lane."

I knew our campers cheered every time the Sammy Lane boat passed by.  And I knew the boat was named after a girl--a local legend of sorts, named Sammy Lane.  I was really hoping I reminded him of the girl, and not the boat.

But, I really didn't know what Dave meant...until our next date.

He took me to see the Shepherd of the Hills play, which is performed at an outdoor ampitheatre, and tells the story of a pretty girl, and the guy she falls for.

All I could think about during the whole play was that I reminded Dave of the pretty heroine, who is smart and courageous and kind...and who is saved in the end by the handsome guy whom she loves.

I also couldn't help but think about the end of our date that night...I couldn't stop wondering if he would kiss me goodnight. He hadn't after our first date, but I was hoping he would after our 2nd.

Sadly, though, our date ended with a short hug. A nice hug, but still.  A hug made me wonder if I was imagining all of the signs.  Even though Dave and I had sent a few little goodies back and forth, nothing had specifically defined whether or not we were in a relationship.  I thought we were.  I hoped we were.  But, I still wasn't sure.  Especially with a quick hug to end both dates.  I knew that some camp guys planned elaborate nights off with girls just for fun...And I just wasn't sure if these were those kind of dates, or something more...

I was sure of one thing, though.  I was falling for Dave.

And I was worried he might not feel the same way about me.

To be continued...

Aye, matey!  This is the old sign for the old Sammy Lane boat...I would say this is the old pirate...but, actually, he was quite young back then.  *grin*

Waiting on our First Date to Happen

With our 20th wedding anniversary coming up, I decided to write about our love story. Please join me in the upcoming days as I tell  A Summer Camp Love Story.

Need to catch up?  Part 1--Our Love Story Starts with: A List; Part 2--A Girl on the Boys' Side, and a Boy on the Girls' Side; Part 3--A Dance...with a Promise; Part 4--Questions, Goodies, and Boat Rides; Part 5--One Fateful Boat Ride

 ..........

 

Here is where I will insert some reality into our whirlwind romance and starry eyes.

I sat waiting on Dave, for our very first date.

I mean, I waited a long time. Uncomfortably long.

After our fateful boat ride, where Dave asked me on a night off, we headed to our respective cabins to get ready. I'm sure I ran straight to my friend Dawn, asking her to help me pick out what I was going to wear. I don't even remember what I wore. But, I do remember all the butterflies in my stomach, and hurrying so I could get the date started.

I grinned all the way over to the girls' side of camp. I sat down to wait on Dave on a bench in front of the office, as all the girls on their nights off crunched across the gravel toward their cars. Before long, all the girls on nights off had left, and I sat waiting. Looking back, I'm sure Dave tackled 27 1/2 jobs after our boat ride, and probably just started getting showered when he saw me walking over.

Or maybe he spent all that time planning out our date.

Because, it was an amazing first date.

(It was worth the wait.)

When Dave finally walked out of his cabin toward me, he was all clean and smelling good. He helped me into his open-air Jeep (so much for the time I spent getting my hair ready!) and we headed toward our first destination.

In true Dave form, he wanted to surprise me with each part of the date.

Our first stop was the top of the Shepherd of the Hills observation tower. Just in time to watch the sunset together. I almost didn't know how to act, or what to say. I'd never had a guy want to share the sunset. In a tower, no less.

Next, we drove to The Outback restaurant, new to Branson at the time. I don't remember what we ate, but I do remember that we talked and talked and talked. And when it was time to order dessert, Dave had me pick. Of course, I chose the key lime pie. But, Dave threw me off when he told the waiter that we'd like our dessert in a to-go box.

Because we had one last stop before the end of our date.

Dave drove me to the park overlooking Table Rock Dam. He helped me out of the Jeep, carrying the lime pie box in one hand, and holding my hand with his other. I didn't care where we were going. I was just following wherever he led me, captivated by my hand in his.

He led us to some large boulders at the edge of the water. Again, holding my hand, he gently helped me climb one of the rocks to sit down. Side by side we sat, the moonlight shining down, and with two forks we shared the piece of lime pie.

In the quiet of the evening, we talked some more. We didn't run out of things to say. There were comfortable silences between our talking, when we'd listen to the crickets or the rhythmic water splashing onto shore. In those silences, I knew. I knew we'd experienced something special that night. I was excited by the possibilities, but in that moment, I just felt content to be there.

And...as the metaphor of our whole life together--the night ended suddenly, as we hopped in the Jeep, racing back to camp before we were late for curfew.

I was a little nervous about being late. But, mostly, what I felt was safe. Being with Dave made me feel safe, and cared for. Even as the wind was wildly whipping through my hair and the Jeep sped through the dark night back toward camp, I knew Dave would make it okay. Even if we were late.

To be continued...

The Bachelor's Pad cabin--where Dave and the other Big Brothers on the girls' side of camp lived...and where certain newlyweds would live in all of its spartan (non-glorious) glory sometime in the future.

The Jeep. Evidently, in this picture it was the star of a camp party of some sort--maybe a 50's themed party. We still have that cute Jeep.  However, it has retired to South Dakota.

 

Ah, here we are--the young couple in love!  This picture was taken later that summer, at my home. Oh, and my bangs would like to ask your forgiveness...for being subjected to looking at their curly, cowlick mess.

One Fateful Boat Ride

With our 20th wedding anniversary coming up, I decided to write about our love story. Please join me in the upcoming days as I tell  A Summer Camp Love Story.

Need to catch up?  Part 1--Our Love Story Starts with: A List; Part 2--A Girl on the Boys' Side, and a Boy on the Girls' Side; Part 3--A Dance...with a Promise; Part 4--Questions, Goodies, and Boat Rides

..........

 

Dawn and I had our boat dock routine down.  We'd rush down, with just enough time to spread out a towel, lie down, and soak in several minutes of glorious sun before we'd hear the ski boat pull into the dock. 

One day, however, Dawn made other plans.  Earlier that morning, Dave had asked her in his classic evasive way...if he were to ask a certain girl out on a date, would she say "yes?"  Dawn answered him, I'm sure, in her Southern drawl, and always clear in her communication--"Oh, YES.  I am SURE she would!"

That was the day that Dawn wasn't able to join me on the dock.  I don't even know if I understood at the time why.  But, thankfully, I rushed down alone, waiting for a certain boat driver to appear.

After all the campers had rushed past me, Dave's shadow appeared over me and asked, "Hey!  Wanna take a boat ride?"

Squinting up, and I'm sure blushing, I answered, "Okay!"

We rode mostly in silence that day, enjoying the sun and breeze kissing our cheeks.  Dave pointed out some of his favorite sights along the ride.  I'm sure he pointed out the brown cows that often cooled off along the chilly-water shore--the chocolate milkshake cows, he called them.

After a while, it was getting time to head back.  Dave broke the silence with a question, "Hey.  Would you like to keep driving this way and see the dam, or would you like to turn around and go on a night off with me?"

I was so nervous, all I could answer was, "Yes!!"

Dave told me later, that he was really HOPING I was answering "yes" to the night off together...because he quickly turned that boat around, and headed for the dock.

We had a date to get ready for.

To be continued...

Wait a minute!!!  Not THIS kind of boat...  A regular ski boat 
 

Like THIS!  Dave and one of his ski classes...back in the day... 
 

Questions, Goodies, and Boat Rides

  With our 20th wedding anniversary coming up, I decided to write about our love story. Please join me in the upcoming days as I tell  A Summer Camp Love Story.

Need to catch up?  Part 1--Our Love Story Starts with: A List; Part 2--A Girl on the Boys' Side, and a Boy on the Girls' Side; Part 3--A Dance...with a Promise

...............

In following my "Carpe Diem" mantra that summer, I wrote Dave a goodie--a letter sent through inner-camp mail--the morning after our dance. My hand was practically shaking as I wrote the short note, thanking him for the dance. Goodness, I wouldn't fit in with today's girls that call boys first, and ask them on dates. I was old-fashioned about boys. Even writing that note felt overly-flirty to me. But, I wrote it, quickly folded it up, and put it in the mailbox before I could change my mind.

When he came by the office later in the day, smiling, and asking about my day, I knew the goodie had been a good idea.

Carpe Diem.

Even though his cowboy boots and slow dance sealed the deal for me, Dave says my questions sealed it for him. And I believe I know just the night he's talking about...

One night that week I was working on a project--putting the little metal jump-rings onto plastic crosses, and threading them with a leather cord. There were hundreds of these to complete, so I decided to take all of my supplies to a quiet office to tackle the tedious job. When Dave stopped in our office that evening to say hello, my dear, dear friend Dawn just-so-happened to mention where I was working on my project. And wouldn't you know it--minutes later, Dave stopped by my quiet office and sat down.

At first, I found it difficult to concentrate on my pliers and jump-rings. But, I did what I always seem to do in nervous situations: I asked lots of questions.

I asked Dave all about his family. I asked him about the intriguing jobs he'd had. He fascinated me. He'd run businesses, he'd created his own line of Spring Break t-shirts, and sold them right on the beach of South Padre. Then, when winter came, he picked up and moved to Breckenridge, to teach kids how to ski. He was smart and independent, and unlike any of the guys I'd ever known. I'd never known anyone who lived so far "outside the box." His life was easy to keep asking questions about. I was fascinated, and smitten.

And, before I knew it, my entire pile of hundreds of crosses was complete.

I wanted to spend more time with Dave. But, remember--I worked on the boys' side of camp, and he worked on the girls' side of camp. He was a Big Brother at the girls' camp. Every term, there were a couple of guys who filled that position. I guess, like Dawn and me loving working around all those cute boys--Dave surely enjoyed working around all the cute college girls. Only, you know, the girls actually kept their shirts on.

One of Dave's jobs in the girls' camp was to drive boats for the ski class. Lucky for me--his ski class time coincided with my daily free-time out of the office. Most days, Dawn (my co-conspirator in the Carpe Diem department!) and I rushed down to the girls' boat dock to hang out during our free time. We understood that if we timed it just right, we would be able to soak in some sun, as well as greet the campers...and their boat driver as they finished up their skiing, and returned to the dock.

Some days we'd just chat with Dave as he put away skis and life jackets. Other days, he'd offer us a quick boat ride.

Always, my cheeks would be flushed with sun and excitement, smiling and savoring every single moment. But, not nearly as flushed as they were at the end of that one particular boat ride...

To be continued...

 A very young MarytheKay - as a Kanakuk camper herself! 

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A Dance...with a Promise

With our 20th wedding anniversary coming up, I decided to write about our love story. Please join me in the upcoming days as I tell  A Summer Camp Love Story.

Need to catch up?  Part 1--Our Love Story Starts with: A List; Part 2--A Girl on the Boys' Side, and a Boy on the Girls' Side

 

..........

I don't want to give you the wrong impression.  Even though Dawn and I were office girls on the boys' side of camp, there were very strict boundaries.  Yes, we interacted with cute shirtless guys all day long.  But, camp had very strict rules we followed.  Obviously, camp had to be careful with the kind of girl they put in that position.  Neither Dawn nor I were overly-flirty girls, and we were also rule-following kind of girls.

That's not to say we didn't thoroughly enjoy the location of our office, or the interaction with all the guys.  But, we did understand that we were there to do our jobs, and do them well.

So, how does a girl fall in love with a guy across a tall front countertop, in brief snatches of time?

Well, for starters, a shy, non-flirty girl who adopted the popular mantra "Carpe Diem," might speak up, when normally she would have remained quiet.  She probably smiled and looked into a cute guy's blue eyes, when normally she may have avoided embarassing eye contact. 

And, after her evening shift, when she arrived very late to the staff Country Western dance, she may have said "yes" to the handsome blue-eyed cowboy who asked her to dance.

Oh, yes.  This romance may have started with a list, and a first hug.  But, it was sealed with a two-steppin' dance. 

I'll never forget seeing Dave walk towards me that night.  He wore jeans and a white and blue long-sleeve shirt, sleeves rolled up his tanned arms.  And boots.  That boy stole my heart when I saw his tan roper boots.  Or maybe it was his strikingly blue eyes, that matched the blue of his shirt.  Either way, I was a goner.

He was the first guy to ask me to dance that night.  And the only guy I danced with after that.  I'll never forget how nervous I was.  I'd only just learned how to Western dance--how to Two-Step, and here I was with a cute guy wrapping his arms around my waist, the music starting.

As soon as the music started, I stopped being nervous.  I was lost in the moment.  The music, the blue eyes, the boyish grin, his hand at my waist leading me around the dance floor of the K-Kountry tennis court.  I know there were lots of others dancing beside us and around us in the evening air.  But, all I remember of that whole night was the dance with Dave, my cowboy in boots. 

We were too lost in the moment at the time, to realize that our dance was to be our fate, our promise.  As our feet shuffled one-two--one; one-two--one, Randy Travis' voice sang into the warm night air...

"I'm gonna love you, forever and ever,

Forever and ever, amen...."

 To be continued...
 

A Girl on the Boys' Side, and a Boy on the Girls' Side

With our 20th wedding anniversary coming up, I decided to write about our love story. Please join me in the upcoming days as I tell A Summer Camp Love Story.

Need to catch up?  Part 1--Our Love Story Starts with: A List

..........

My other camp friend Dawn and I had the most enviable jobs of all the girls' staff at Kanakuk Kamps:  We worked in the boys' summer camp office.  Oh yes, all day long, our office looked out over the boys' camp.  All day long, good-looking college counselors came in and flirted with the only girls they saw every day--the office girls.

Did I mention that these college guys were also college athletes?  And maybe I should also mention that these college athletes rarely wore shirts.  Oh, but being immersed  into boy culture was not always what we expected.  Most days, those boys were sweaty and dirty.  They'd always leave behind their sweaty arm prints on our front counter.  They took great delight in not wearing deodorant during those 28 days.  Oh yes, we could always smell these boys even before we'd see them.  Even so, we felt protective over these boys we mostly treated like brothers.  Oh, sure.  There were good-looking boys who flirted.  But, more than just good-looking, these were good boys, kind boys, funny boys, smart boys, Christian boys with bright futures.  That boys' side of camp was a hand-picked gathering of some of the most godly, kid-loving, character-filled group of eligible bachelors any husband-seeking girl could want.  

 Like I said, Dawn and I had the sweetest office girl jobs at the whole camp!

And remember the list?  Sure, I saw every one of the guys on my list every single day.  I interacted with them many times daily as they came into the office.  Yes, I saw them in all kinds of situations every day... sweaty, and tired, and energetic, and laughing, and joking, and flirting, and yelling, and lonesome, and always--always looking for mail and packages from home.   And Dawn and I were the girls behind the counter.  The girls sorting and handing out their mail, answering their phone calls--offering them the necessary connection and encouragement from home.

There was one guy in particular, though, that had more work in our office than the others.  Or perhaps he pretended to have more work in our office than the others?  I saw him every day much more often than I saw the others.  Which is really interesting--because he actually lived and worked on the girls' side of camp.

Yes, Dave worked on the girls' side, and I worked on the boys' side.

And somehow, we met in the middle--literally--and fell in love.

To be continued...  (Part 3 coming later today!!)

 Here we are...the boys' office girls.  That's Dawn in the center, and a much younger me on the right

 There they are--the Big Brothers on the girls' side.  Travis, Dave, Jimmy

 See!  I wasn't kidding about the shirtless part!

Our Love Story Starts With: A List

With our 20th wedding anniversary coming up, I decided to write about our love story. Please join me in the upcoming days as I tell A Summer Camp Love Story.

 

Twenty-one years ago this summer, I packed my maroon Honda Accord trunk with everything a girl needs for two months at summer camp. I still can't believe my parents let their 20-year-old daughter, with a terrible sense of direction, drive herself eight hours--and across two states. However, I had cash in my wallet, gas in my tank, and the route on my map marked with a yellow sharpie, leading the way to Versailles, Missouri--home of a dear summer camp friend. The plan was to stay at her house a couple of days and drive down together to begin Staff Work Week at Kanakuk Kamps.

In between lying out at the pool, cooking Chinese food together, and meeting all of her family, Tracey and I talked non-stop about summer camp. Who we'd kept up with during the year, who we'd seen, and who we were looking forward to seeing.

Ah, and that is where this love story starts: A list. Tracey and I each made a list of who we'd like to get to know better that summer. Okay, more specifically--which guys we thought were cute and would love to date.

And, I know what you're thinking, and yes. Yes, I do remember who was on my list. Do I even dare to mention them now...after these twenty-one years? It's a nice list. I'm pretty everyone on my list has ended up a good guy. Oh, all right. I'll tell you the list. Anyone who knew me back then will surely know exactly who I am talking about. I'll just mention first names, though.

Scott, Ted, Britt, Shannon, and Dave.

I had met all of these guys the summer before, and each one intrigued me for different reasons. I had been dating a guy from home the summer before, so I never even thought about these guys back then. However, after a New Year's Eve broken heart, these guys were the ones I told Tracey I was looking forward to seeing at camp.

Oh, but what's a list, right? Girls always make mental lists of guys they think are cute. I certainly wasn't expecting any of those guys to pay me any special attention. I was never a flirty girl, and always felt like I just blended into the crowd. However. Because the movie The Dead Poets Society had been a popular movie that year, I was heading into summer with the theme "Carpe Diem" in the twinkle of my eye.

How fitting that the very first person I saw as I pulled my car into the Kanakuk driveway, was a guy on my list. Out of the fifty or so guys arriving that day, I first ran into the blond-headed, blue-eyed, tanned smiling face of Dave. Just outside the dining hall, just steps away from my car, Dave came over and hugged me.

Of course, it was a very quick, all-friendly hug...followed by lots and lots of other friends and "Hey, how was your year?" and other hugs.

But, Dave's was first.

From that very first moment, it was Dave.

I don't know if you believe in fate, or if you believe in God playing Matchmaker. I'll let you draw your own conclusions in this story.

But, just remember: Dave was first.

To be continued...

 

Back to School Edition: Linky Dinks

Reminds me of a little ditty...

"It's the most won-der-ful time....of the year!!!!!"

You just thought that was a Christmas song, didn't you?

Oh, come on now--you know you love it when your kids go back to school. Just admit it. However, you homeschool moms...you may not be singing the same tune. Oh, don't be pretending that teaching your children is the most beautiful thing you've ever done, and how could anyone ever send their little darlings to a *gasp* public school. I know that back-to-school time is the time of year homeschool moms' spending goes up...on things like...coffee, chocolate, cigarettes, Jack Daniels. (You think I'm kidding, don't you?)

Either way--I thought I'd provide some fun links for your back-to-school reading and looking pleasure!

 

Make your own school supplies? I especially like the instant index cards out of paper plates, and the flash card frisbees (on page 2).

 

 

Cute lunch box, please!! My oldest is eyeing the Vera Bradley sale for one!

 

 

Oh. My. Polka dot! These PB Teen polka dot backpacks are about to do me in! Plus FREE SHIPPING right now! Be sure to scroll down far enough for the "sale" ones.

 

Do your kids need a craft project? How about letting them cover their notebooks? Or what about personalizing a notebook with their favorite picture

Great ideas for a Cool locker!

 

Oh Oh Oh! I want some cool pencils like these! Don't even get me started on the cool pencil cases... Yes, the Juicy Fruit gum one, please.

 

All right...I could go crazy with the back-to-school links... Can you tell that I have a little problem already? So, in closing, I leave you with the GRANDADDY of all back-to-school EYE CANDY. *cue the harps*

Happy shopping!

What are your favorite new school supplies?

The Miracle Remedy for Poison Ivy

 
I don't know if you've struggled with poison ivy before, but if you have--listen up!  I have a miracle remedy for you!!

Just recently, my daughter came home from summer camp with a case of poison ivy. She was pretty miserable...until we discovered the miracle!

Oh--but first--let's chat about prevention.

Poison Ivy Prevention

From the research I've found online, and from my husband, who always follows #1 and #2 below, these are the top 3 things you can do to help prevent poison ivy:

1. After coming into contact with poison ivy, or even after working in the yard, you should always wash with a dish soap.   And by wash, I mean you need to take a shower and use the dish soap all over.  Because poison ivy is spread from the oil of the plant, the "de-greasing" action of dish soap is much more effective than regular bath soap. 

2. Throw the clothes you wore into the washing machine, and start the load immediately. If you start the load immediately, you are less likely to reach in later, and come into contact with the poison ivy clothes.

3.  A common way poison ivy is spread is from the fur of your pets.  When your animal runs through a poison ivy plant, the oil sticks to the fur.  When you reach down to pet your sweet dog, or your dog rubs against your bare legs--the oil is transferred to you.  After walking your dog, or you suspect he has gotten into some poison ivy, why not wipe down Fido's fur with a towel when you get home?  Of course, be sure to wash that towel immediately.

All right--those are simple ways to prevent poison ivy.  But, what about that MIRACLE REMEDY once you've already gotten poison ivy???

Poison Ivy Scratchers--I present to you:  Zanfel!!!

Zanfel is a brand new over-the-counter product for Poison Ivy, Poison Oak, and Sumac.   Zanfel is also a FIRST of its kind--It treats the CAUSE of the Poison Ivy, and NOT JUST THE SYMPTOMS!

(By the way, Zanfel is not paying me to brag on them...although I sure wish they were!  I'm just excited about it because it WORKS!)

 Please check the Zanfel site to find out all about it, but let me just tell you how it worked for my daughter.  Especially at bedtime, when Rebecca's itching was uncomfortable, I read the Zanfel directions, and applied it to all of her Poison Ivy "spots."  I know it is important to follow the directions implicitly--in the amount to use, and the duration of time.

Using the Zanfel was like using an exfoliant scrub.  I "scrubbed" the exact amount of Zanfel briskly around on each spot until Rebecca said it stopped itching.  Then, according to the directions, Rebecca thoroughly rinsed off the remaining Zanfel.  She was amazed at how quickly the itching stopped!

There were a couple of the spots that still itched the next day.  We just used more Zanfel on those spots, doing the same "scrubbing" and washing.  That 2nd application did the trick! 

Now, I am certainly no doctor, and I am sure some cases of Poison Ivy may require a doctor visit...but for us, Zanfel was an easy MIRACLE REMEDY for an uncomfortable case of itchy Poison Ivy!  (For a severe case, I would go straight to the doctor and get the miracle shot!)

There is a downside, though.  Zanfel is expensive.  Brace yourselves...  You may pay anywhere between $25-35 for a 1-ounce tube.  (eBay seems to be a good place to buy.  Or if you need it right away, head to Walmart!)  We still have half a tube left after treating Rebecca.  That was money well-spent, in my opinion!  Plus, I have some ready for our next round...

Now, I'm not trying to be bossy...but if you struggle with Poison Ivy, I suggest you go right now and purchase some Zanfel.   Cause if you don't--well, then don't come around here belly-achin' about your poor itchy arms and legs.  Because me and my non-itchy legs will have no sympathy for you! 

Have you ever struggled with a nasty case of Poison Ivy?

Do you know any other miracle remedies?

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You can't take me anywhere!

 
 Seriously, I am not fit for proper company.

Here's why:  I just googled "What to do when you accidently spit on someone else's food."

Guess what the answer is?

Well, there's not one.  Probably because no one in history has ever spit on someone's food by accident.   On purpose--sure, all the time!  Oh yeah, waiters spit on rude people's food all the time.  And you picky people--you KNOW the waiter spits on the steak you're sending back because it's not quite right.

Here's what happened when I did the accidental spitting:  The other night at our summer camp was pizza night.  Pizza night means that each table is served a large pizza in the middle of the table.  I was chatting with the guests next to me (who I didn't know well), when all-of-a-sudden a stream of spit just jumped right out of my mouth!  I think in high school, we called this form of spit a "gleek."  As in, "Dude, you just gleeked me!"

Anyway, I saw the gleeked spit arc through the air and land splat on the fat crust of the sausage pizza.  The sausage pizza that was for our whole table.  I think I even froze in my conversation for a moment as the spit landed.  Which, of course, just drew more attention to my spit.  Lovely.

So, what did I do?  Well, I just calmly reached down and put that piece of pizza onto my plate, as if it was the exact piece I wanted in the first place!

Crisis solved.

Forget Emily Post.  I'm starting my OWN etiquette website for losers like me...and my first category shall be called:

Accidental spitting

(Of course, I'd include my Household Hazards articles on The Dangers of Flip Flops as well as The Hazards of Wearing the Scarf.)

What categories would YOU need for me to include in MarytheKay's Book of Etiquette for Losers like Herself?