Just this summer, our daughter asked me if she could download the video "Firework" by Katy Perry onto her iPod. Our family rule is that the girls (11 and 6) have to ask every time they want to download anything--a song, a game, a video. Usually, our answer is: "Do you still have money in your account?" And always--we quickly check out what they want to download.
When she asked to download the video "Firework," I took a quick look at the beginning of the video, and very nearly said, "Yes." It's a catchy tune. And it's a song that the girls and I have giggled and belted out the chorus together, driving down the road. It seems like an inspiring song. What could be wrong with that message?
What's wrong is the video. The video itself is dark, both in lighting and theme. There are images that flash on the screen, that, frankly, I don't want our daughters to see right now. I sure don't want an image bouncing around in their brains, when they are not mature enough to understand it. Heck--I don't really want some of those images bouncing around in MY brain.
But, let me warn you. "Firework" is NOTHING compared to some of Katy Perry's other videos. I'm not encouraging you to go out and watch them. Unless you want to get really depressed. Videos seemingly aimed at high schoolers--since they are portrayed as high schoolers on the videos--that promote partying, breaking laws, becoming someone's victim, binge drinking, casual sex, and group sex.
I'm not naive enough to think our daughters will never be exposed to edgy music lyrics, or be drawn to talented musicians who seem soul-less in their climb to fame. I'm not even naive enough to think our daughters won't know some of those lyrics, or worse--download them to their iPods.
Sometimes I lean towards the parenting philosophy that says anything you withhold too strongly from kids, will only act as a magnet to them. That the moment kids gain some freedom, they will explore for themselves those forbidden things. I want to keep communication open with our daughters, and talk about songs/movies/videos that are questionable. I'm really hoping that by talking about those things (which I'd secretly like to forbid), that our girls will learn to make good choices on their own.
However. A BIG HOWEVER. There are times I wonder if I shouldn't just nail up as many boards and walls and obstacles as possible--to protect my precious daughters from the filth of the world.
Especially after today. I want to pack up and move to a remote island somewhere. You see, I spent some time today on YouTube. I spent time exploring many of the popular music videos in the tween/teen world. I wanted to be more aware of the music marketed to my daughters and their friends.
Now, let me preface this whole conversation with the fact that I don't watch many music videos. Even back when MTV started (you know--back in my Glory Days), I just never watched that many videos. I also have always been more of a music girl, rather than a lyrics girl. I rarely pay attention to the lyrics of a song. Now that I am a parent of a daughter who wants to download these songs onto her iPod, I try to pay more attention. Most times, I have to look up the lyrics online. Or, as in today, check out the videos on YouTube.
I know music has always had its share of harmless teeny bop artists, as well as edgier artists pushing the envelope. However, I just don't remember as many mainstream artists singing and performing videos that are...Honestly, I don't even have words to describe the videos I watched today.
Have I just turned into an adult prude?
Or are music lyrics and videos different/more explicit now?
I feel like I'm walking a slippery slope of parenting. What's the answer? Protect? Or have more open communication...but risk some of those dark images and ideas sticking in my sweet daughters' minds?
What do you think?
(Today's topic was inspired by Mama Kat: Songversation. Take a current song that teens and tweens are listening to, share the lyrics, and offer a conversation that you might have with your child about the song. I went a little off-topic after I watched the videos on YouTube...I guess I'm not ready to have those kinds of conversations with my daughters yet. Eek!)
Check out what others have written about this same topic!
Image credit: Flickr
