Recently, I've found myself in conversations where I am really defending a point I am making...when all-of-a-sudden I realize, "Huh. I don't REALLY know as much about this subject as I am making it sound." And yet--my mouth keeps moving, and I keep spouting facts...well...as if they are facts.
Do you ever find yourself doing this?
Man, this know-it-all quality must be just PEACHY for my friends to be around. And my poor husband...
These are the subjects I typically think I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT. So, please just consider this a fair warning. If you don't want me share all my enlightened knowledge with you, maybe you shouldn't bring up these topics in my presence...
1. I am a fabulous internet doctor. I bet you didn't know this about me. Well, my close friends know this, and sometimes seek out my "services." I am really great at researching symptoms online and diagnosing illnesses. I know right now my doctor dad--and all good doctors out there--are rolling their eyes. People like me who diagnose from WebMD drive them crazy. But, I can't help it. Some people go to medical schools. Others can just diagnose with Google.
2. I can "cut to the chase" in seconds flat. This quality gets me in trouble ALL the TIME with my husband. He can be telling me something, and I will be answering him before he is even 1/3 of the way through telling me. I'm sure you can imagine how fun it is to live with someone who thinks she knows exactly what you're saying--even before you finish... But, it's like my brain has x-ray vision, and knows what you are going to say--even before you finish.
3. Punctuation and Grammar. Ooh, do I even dare to write those words here? Because right now, I know all grammarphobes are scouring these words to find mistakes. How do I know they are doing this? Because it is what I DO anytime I read something. If you send a newsletter to my house, I will edit it. Newsy Christmas letter? Yep, I edit it. Don't worry, though--I am not obnoxious enough to TELL YOU about it...It's just something I do. (Oh, and by the way--now I feel all obligated to tell you that I am aware I break grammar rules all the time here on the ole blog-ola. This blog is conversational, so I write the way I talk. And if you know me in real life--you know I talk like a hick. And don't worry--I do not edit blogs. Or texts. Or Facebook. Well, not much, anyway...)
4. I have the ability to pick good recipes. If you haven't noticed around here, I do like to cook. I do NOT consider myself an accomplished cook...I more consider that I am able to improvise my mistakes into something that works. But, what I DO think about my cooking abilities is that I can PICK good recipes. It's kind of like combining #2 above with cooking: I can usually cut to the chase through high-falutin recipes, and be able to tell if they are decent or not. I mean, if a recipe doesn't have real butter, sugar, cream, buttermilk, or bacon fat--it's probably not worth making. When I see words like "margarine, olive oil, stevia, or tofu"--I don't waste my time on recipes like that. (Sorry, Italians, I don't like your oil.)
5. I am an expert in everything I have lived through, or done. I really LOVE learning new things and researching--anything and everything. If I am going through a difficult time about something, I usually research it TO DEATH--online, talking to people and asking them hundreds of questions, and reading books about it. So, after I have navigated through an issue, I usually do have a pretty large base of knowledge surrounding it. That doesn't mean I sailed through the problem. But, it does mean that I learned everything possible in the meantime. And...usually I like to share most of that knowledge with you if the subject comes up. I'm sorry.
So, there ya have it. 5 subjects that I can be absolutely obnoxious about. I mean, I really try not to be obnoxious... But, just lately when I have caught myself in those conversations where I am droning on and on about something--that I may or may not really know everything about... it has made me wonder: How many times have I NOT been self-aware, and have droned on and on about a subject?
What about you? What are YOUR obnoxious know-it-all subjects?
Please tell me it's not just me...
P.S. Just to keep things honest around here...and so that YOU know that I KNOW...that I don't know everything... I misspelled the word "grammar" in the word "grammarphobe" in #3 above. Yep, I spelled it "grammEr." Nice.
Also--one more thing. Guess what PICTURE I put on the cover of the "Christmas in Italy" booklet I'm teaching tomorrow? A picture of the Eiffel Tower. Yeah, think about it... Thank the good Lord above that I caught it BEFORE sending the little kiddies home with their Italy/Eiffel Tower booklets!!!!!
(This post was inspired by the always entertaining Mama Kat's Weekly Writing Workshop. Check out some of the other great entries!)
*image credit: Flickr
