And change scares me to death. So, for my heart to want change is big. Like, God-size big.
I have no idea what God is doing--or what He's planning for me or my family. I just know that for now, I am supposed to keep putting one foot in front of the other, daily walking out my faith. Putting one foot in front of the other for me right now means raising 2 sweet girls, and providing a loving and encouraging home for my husband and daughters.
Maybe God doesn't have any big changes on our horizon. Maybe He is just working on a heart that has been a little too distant from Him. Maybe He is working on a heart that acts like a spoiled child sometimes, comparing herself to others and whining, "Why not ME? Why can't I do that/have that/live like that/???"
Ugh. I cringe even having to type that out. I can't imagine what God must think of my whining sometimes. Yuck, yuck, yuck. I hate whining.
But, back to the good stuff. God is working on me. And I'm glad. (I'm not always glad. Just being honest here.)
I really do long to live a life that is poured out love to others--my family, my friends, and those I come in contact with.
But, the honest truth is this: I am selfish with my time. I am introverted by nature, and I love living in my cozy little home, behind my curtains, and behind my phones with Caller I.D. Living a life that is decided by ME how and when I reach out to others.
However, I have a strange feeling God may be calling me from behind my pretty red curtains, beyond my comfort zone, and beyond my control.
(Dangit, don't you hate giving up control? Well, I sure do.)
So, what am I telling you here? Probably a whole lot of nothing! Just that God is working on my heart right now. Just like a little pin my parents used to have...with the initials:
PBP,GIFWMY (or something like that)
Please Be Patient, God Isn't Finished With Me Yet
Is God working on any of your hearts right now?
In case He is, I found these 2 recent blog posts to be JUST the kind of thing my heart is yearning for...JUST the kind of love poured out my heart is longing to do...
I thought maybe these words would find a soft spot in your heart today, too.
Please read The One Thing That Will Change Your Life and please please please read all the way down to their commitment. Wow, knock socks off.
And then please read Stepping Back, Slowing Down, and Focusing Up. Again, please please please read down to the part where she writes a letter back to "Friend." That just knocked my socks off, too. THAT is what life is all about. Forget publishing a book, forget reaching #5 on Amazon, forget a fancy schmancy book tour--reaching out to others is what matters.
So, that's the state of my heart lately.
How's your heart? What's God doing in your heart lately?
You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. -Galatians 5:13