Because I sure do.
I did earlier today, and I do again tonight.
Wow. How's that for Telling Your Truth Tuesday?
Well, why the heck not tell the truth? The perfection I see on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter gets exhausting. I prefer real any old day.
So, my real for today is this: I value relationship over task. In Bible circles, this could be defined by saying that I'm much more "Mary" than "Martha."
That all sounds really great in theory...but in practice? I feel like a failure.
I know there are little plaques and refrigerator magnets that say something along the lines of...Kids will remember what you DO with them much more than HOW CLEAN your house was.
But, guess what? Your neighbor remembers the messy house.
The messy house which must mean the mama is lazy or undisciplined or scatterbrained.
Or, the worst assumption of all...a messy housekeeper. *sigh*
I try. I try to tell my brain that my kids will grow up feeling loved. They will remember having fun. They'll remember getting to roller skate through the house, having picnics in the living room, and getting to make messy magical potions out of the spice cabinet.
But...sadly, they'll probably also remember Mama's INTENSE stress level to clean the house when company's coming over.
Because, even though I value relationship over task, I still have a brain. And I still feel like a failure when someone sees my messy house.
So, I have to YELL and STRESS and FREAK OUT a little (okay, a lot!) in order to get this messy house magically all tidy before guests come over.
And that is my truth for today.
In other news...Since I have no company planning to come over tomorrow...tonight, I am going to bed with a MESSY house. Yes, I sure am.
Feeling like a failure really zaps the energy right out of ya. And nothing helps failure-feeling like a fresh, and rested perspective.
And, who knows? Maybe the cleaning fairies will visit overnight...
What are you feeling like a failure about today?
(Or, am I the only one?)