MarytheKaytheBlog

My Feelings about Homeschool: Some Days I Love it, and Some Days I Want to Say: #%@$# !!!

At the Laura Ingalls Wilder Homestead school in De Smet, South Dakota

Last week I mentioned I was heading to the Denim Jumper Convention (Also known to some as the Homeschool Convention).  I must admit--the ladies in denim jumpers did not disappoint.  There were jumpers in a whole rainbow of colors and plaids.  There were also lots and lots of long denim skirts, and so many pregnant women and babies in wraps that I was a little afraid.  Not to worry, though.  I did NOT drink the water.

You do understand that I am saying all of this a little tongue in cheek, right?  Because,  although there WERE ladies dressed in denim jumpers, of course, there were also plenty of ladies dressed just like me--rolled up jeans, a 3/4 cardigan, and my Chacos.  (My Spring uniform).

Just like there were differently dressed ladies at the convention, so are there lots of different reasons families choose to homeschool.  Since I get asked all the time about our family's experience and reasons behind our school choices, I thought this would be a good opportunity to explain it a little.

If I had to sum up our family's experience in homeschooling in one sentence, this is what it would be:

I LOVE the RESULT of having homeschooled our daughters, but many times during the homeschool day, I want to yell, scream, nag, hug, cry, run away, drink a Coke, smoke a cigarette, drink whiskey, grin, giggle, jump up and down, or curl into a fetal position. 

In other words, homeschooling has been good for our family, but most days, in the process, I want to toss it out the window and put my daughters on the school bus driving past our house.  Sure, there are wonderful moments I would have otherwise missed out--when one of the girls "gets" a concept.  Those moments I want to jump up and down and squeal for joy.  Or, when I notice pretty handwriting on something and I think, "I DID THAT!!  I taught her how to write!!!"

I know I've mentioned this before, but I pretty much came into homeschooling kicking and screaming.  I went to college to become a high school English teacher--a public school teacher.  My husband went to college to become an elementary math and science teacher.  Both of our families had teachers before us--public school teachers.  My husband and I were both mostly public school taught.  So, why would we want to homeschool--with all of our public school background?

Well, my husband and I are both trained teachers.  Between the two of us, we have all major subjects covered.  Even though I LOVE the act of teaching, it was my husband who first felt strongly that we should homeschool for our daughters' beginning school years.  He felt like our giving them one-on-one instruction at home would give them a solid foundation--educationally and spiritually--for their later years. 

Even though I agreed with Dave's outlook, I had never pictured myself teaching my kids at home.  It took me a while (okay, a WHOLE LOT of ARGUMENTS), to begin exploring what homeschooling could look like for me.

At the end of our discussions (fights), I decided to compromise (give in), and homeschool our girls K-2nd grade.  I would give them 3 years of a solid foundation at home, and then send them off to school in town.

Emotionally, that was all I could handle thinking about.  I knew I could handle 3 years.  After that, we both agreed that if I wanted to continue homeschooling, it would be my decision.  Or, if I wanted to put them into school, it would also be my decision.  At that point, I could NOT have handled thinking that I would homeschool the girls all the way through school.  Dave would have had to put me in the loony bin if that had been the case.  I couldn't even have handled thinking I would homeschool for 7 years--which is what I've done for our oldest.

Dave giving me the reins to decide whether to continue homeschooling after 2nd grade was the best thing he could have done.  Knowing the decision was mine gave me complete freedom to explore what was best educationally and emotionally for the girls each school year--and also to make sure I was really up to the challenge.  If the decision had been partly Dave's at that point, I'm sure I would have felt defensive about any of the decisions, instead of realistic. 

 As Rebecca finished 2nd grade, I decided to keep her home for another year or two mainly because of one thing:  Her little sister.

Because our daughters ended up being much farther apart in years that we'd planned, I felt like keeping Rebecca home another year or two would help them become closer, despite their 4 1/2-year age difference.  When Rebecca was 8, and going into the 3rd grade, Sara Beth, at 3 1/2,  was just beginning to play the same things as her big sister.

In retrospect, having both girls home together has been one of the BEST things we've done in homeschooling.  Now, to be completely honest, having both girls home together has also nearly driven me to CRAZY TOWN.  Those girls fight, and bicker, and tattle, and get on each others' nerves on purpose, and on a daily basis.  However.  I have also gotten to watch Rebecca's nurturing side as she's helped Sara Beth with schoolwork.  I've watched Sara Beth encourage her big sister.  And through the years, I've watched a friendship and dependence on each other blossom, even in spite of all the daily bickering.

 Okay, I've probably lost most of you by now with all my homeschool chatting.  For those that ARE still reading, I'll continue these riveting thoughts another day.  I'd love to tell you some of the best things I've learned along the way, and maybe save you some trouble (or a Zoloft prescription) if ever you decide to embark on the homeschool journey.

Also, if you have any burning homeschool questions, I'd LOVE to answer them in the continuation!

The Denim Jumper Convention: VOTE on which denim jumper I should wear

Well, hello, dearest readers!  It's that time of year again... That time of year when I attend the Denim Jumper Convention--also known to some of the more serious (boring) crowd as "The Homeschool Convention."

But, why would I call it the Homeschool Convention, when Denim Jumper Convention is much more fun to say??

In anticipation of the Denim Jumper Convention this weekend, I was going to write a long post about why I homeschool...or some of the great things that have come out of homeschooling...or about how we homeschool...  But, as homeschooling life typically does to me--I have run out of time.  I've been busy reading Uncle Tom's Cabin to Rebecca (nearly put myself to sleep in Chapter 43!), and helping Sara Beth make a giant posterboard timeline of Moses' life.  Oh, and watching an episode of My Fair Wedding with the girls while we ate Chinese takeout for dinner.  (Because Mama was too tired to cook!)

In lieu of a very scholarly and highly entertaining (I'm sure) post about homeschooling in our family, I am offering you the chance to VOTE on WHICH DENIM JUMPER I should wear this weekend...you know--to the Denim Jumper Convention.  (How many times can I say those words...Denim Jumper Convention?  Ha!  Said 'em again!)

 

Here goes!  Please vote for only ONE choice.  I know these jumpers are VERY DIFFERENT in style...Just pick the one you like best:

Denim Jumper #1  (always a classic...especially when paired with my anklets and Keds.)

 

Denim Jumper #2  (a little racier, as it shows more leg)

Denim Jumper #3  (the embellishments just make it special, don't they?)

Denim Jumper #4  (a little more form-fitting--but don't worry--not too much!)

 

Okay, what do you think?  Which Denim Jumper is the snazziest and most stylish???  I want to be sure to STAND OUT this weekend at the convention.

And while I'm rubbing elbows with my fellow Jumpers, I do hope you fine readers have a wonderful weekend!  I'll be back here on Monday to tell you all about the convention!  Or, feel free to find me chatting about it on The Twitter.

Goodnight, good people.

(Okay, okay...In effort to remain honest...I must confess...I have not owned a denim jumper since 1992, when I sold my last one at a garage sale.  But...I secretly wish they would come back into fashion--they were SO comfortable!)

What exciting things are you doing this weekend?

Senior Prom Memories...Twenty (something) years ago!

Has your town had Senior Prom yet?  Ours is this coming weekend, but we've been seeing girls in pretty satin dresses, and uncomfortable-looking guys in tuxedos around town for a couple of weeks. 

Just this past weekend, on my girls' night out, we ran into a Prom couple--all decked out--and walking into a MOVIE.  Thankfully, I was with my friend Janna, who is not shy about talking to strangers, and she asked them if they'd just been to Prom.  The young couple grinned, and the fellow with the royal blue bowtie puffed up his chest, grinned a cheesy grin, and said, "Yeah, and I PROPOSED to her tonight!" 

My friends and I all looked in amazement at this young couple, this baby couple, who surely didn't seem old enough to be walking into that movie with the uncomfortably long you-know-what kind of scene...much less old enough to be going to the late movie after a Senior Prom!!  But, here they were, grinning and holding hands like young little love birds.  We asked the girl if she said "yes"--to which, she said, "Of course!" and patted her little rounded belly, "I'm due in October!"

All righty, then.  Prom is a little different these days, I guess.

But, back in the glorious 1980s, when I went to Prom, NO ONE was ever pregnant at Prom.  Or, maybe I was just naive.  Okay, probably so. 

But, seeing all the girls in their pretty Prom dresses, always just takes me back.  In honor of all the Prom nostalgia,  I thought I'd share my own Prom pictures.  But first--guess who STILL has her Prom dresses???  Oh, yes I do!!! 

Before I show you the truly retro 80's Prom pictures, I thought it would be fun to have a photo session with my girls.  When I asked if they wanted to try on my Prom dresses, they ran to my bedroom closet before I could even finish the sentence.

I bet their daddy will not like these pictures.  (Sorry, honey!)  I am sure these pictures will conjure up for him visions of shotguns and large redneck men threatening skinny adam's apple boys...already terrified of some certain girls' crazy-eyed daddy.

I hate to say it...but I think my husband will rather enjoy terrifying interested boys ringing our doorbell.  But, I guess daddies do need things to look forward to, don't they?

So, here are our precious darlings that caused their daddy to tell me way back when I was first pregnant with them...  "I sure hope I don't have to go to prison some day because of some boy."

First, I would like to introduce you to Sara Beth, who is modeling her mama's Junior Prom dress of a pastel pink moire taffeta.  This Mrs. Hanry couture dress has a sweetheart neckline with spaghetti straps, with a dropped waist cascading into a 2-tiered ruffled tea-length skirt.  The outstanding feature of the dress is the over-sized bow on the back of the dress that Mrs. Hanry herself designed.  This dress is a classic example of the preppy year 1987.

 

Our next model is Rebecca.  Rebecca is modeling a Senior Prom dress of black satin with a black lace overlay, fabrics specially selected from Hancock Fabrics for this very occasion.  This dress is also a Mrs. Hanry couture, featuring a strapless sweetheart neckline of the shiny black satin.  The fitted bodice gathers gently at the waist to fall into a full tea-length skirt with a lace overlay.  This dress also features the dramatic over-sized bow, once again a Mrs. Hanry original design. 

 
 

 
 And without further ado, I present to you...1987, in all of its glory!!!  Please welcome MarytheKay and her dear friend Stacey!  MarytheKay and Stacey met on the first day of junior high, and were the best of friends all the way through high school.  How fitting that we have prom pictures together.  *smile*  (I miss you, StayJack!!!)
Okay, do you see the pink high tops?  Yes, I was very proud of those shoes. Actually...I wore pink dyeable heels (of course), and took the high tops to change into.  Oh yeah--tha's a dancing girl you see there!!!  I am very sad to say that I can't find my Junior Prom picture with my date.  Junior Prom was actually my FAVORITE dance...with none other than John David.  (Little shout out to John David! I'd better shout loudly...I'm pretty sure he doesn't read this blog!)

 

Drum roll for the Senior Prom, folks...  Please help me usher in 1988, in all of its glory...

Sadly, no high tops for this dance.  I am sure you're not looking at my shoes, though.   You're looking at my hair--wondering how in the heck did I get it so tall?  I hate to confess...that is natural cowlick height, baby.  There is a little White Rain to smooth it, but that cowlick is doing all the manual labor.

(My fire engine red fingernails make me giggle a little.  Va Va Va VOOM.  Those nails remind me of my very first professional manicure, earlier that day.  Miss Sheila was so kind to me that morning.) 

Oh!  Forgive me for being so rude!  I would like to introduce you to John David.  By the time Senior Prom rolled around, John David was already an important college boy.  We went to this dance as just friends (note the yellow roses - for friendship).  The fact that he still drove down for the dance, and kept his promise to take me to Senior Prom meant a lot to me, and surely exemplified his integrity.  Now, the fact that he kept looking at his watch all evening did not mean so much...  (Oh, you know you did!!)  But, a girl can't have it all, now can she?

Before I close, I'd like to say that these Prom dances for me were wonderfully and innocently fun.  I know there is a lot of talk these days (and on t.v. shows) about the heightened pressures of Prom night.  That was not my experience at all.  My experience was all about dancing and laughing the night away with a group of good friends.  My prayer for our daughters is that they will be able to have the same innocent and memory-making kind of fun someday.

And, of course, if their dates have anything different in mind...they can consult the scary man in the back seat holding the shotgun.

(*Much of this content is re-posted from last year.)

The Flip Flop Exchange: A FUN Way to Celebrate Spring!

Oh my word, I can hardly contain myself!  I am just sooo excited to tell you about my FAVORITE Spring Party!!!  I mean--picture this:  You've endured a long winter--this year much longer than usual.  You are sick and tired of the brown, dead grass in your yard, the barren branches overhead casting dismal shadows.  One day walking to the mailbox, you SEE it.  That teeny tiny green stalk peeking up from the ground!!! 

 And you feel like cheering.  Right there at the mailbox.  And doing a little jumpy dance.  Wheeeee!  Spring is a comin'!!!

 So, instead of the embarrassing jumpy dance, you know how I like to CELEBRATE Spring's arrival?  With a FLIP FLOP EXCHANGE party!!!

Because, what says SPRING better than a sassy Flip Flop???

 For the past 3 years, a group of my friends has gotten together in late March/early April for a Flip Flop Exchange Party.  It has gotten to be a real highlight for us each year...and has really grown in numbers.  You could use this idea for any women's group--a book club, a church women's group, a group at work, a neighborhood get-together...

 Here's how it works: 

1.  Pick a date.  For us, weeknights work best (free childcare, if Daddy keeps the kids!!)

2.  About 3 weeks ahead of your party date, send a mass e-mail to all the women you even think might be interested.  In your e-mail, tell the ladies about the Flip Flop Exchange idea, tell them the date of the party, and ask if they would like to come.  If they DO want to come, they need to do these things: 

-Reply to you (the party hostess) with your FLIP FLOP size (give closest WHOLE size, since most flip flops don't come in half-sizes)

-Start checking out fun flip flop shops--either in town, or online.  Be looking for a return e-mail, with your secret flip flop pal.

-Once you receive your Flip Flop Pal and her Flip Flop size (our group keeps our pals a secret until the party night), purchase a fun pair of flip flops that fit her personality--spending between $15-20.  (That is the limit our group sets.)

-On the party night, wrap up your flip flops--including a gift receipt (in case they don't fit). 

3.  This year, our Flip Flop Party hostess has really amped up  things.  Each of the attendees is bringing $2 to put towards 2 contests.  The first contest winner is awarded cash for bringing the CUTEST Flip Flops.  The other contest winner is awarded cash for bringing the best PERSONALITY MATCH for her Flip Flop Pal.  (The party attendees will vote on little slips of paper.)

 
4.  I love the contest idea!!!  Because some of the girls coming this year I don't know as well, it will be up to me to find out from others in the group the personality of my Flip Flop Pal...or I can always chat with the hostess, who knows everyone coming.  And WHO doesn't like winning a little CASH in a fun contest???Now, go ye out and planeth some Flip Flop Parties!!!!  I'd love to hear back from ya, if ya do!!!

My Favorites from the Oscars

Before I show you my favorite dresses from the Oscars, I feel impressed to post a disclaimer. 

Billy Crystal said it best in one of my favorite quotes of the night in his opening monologue:  "We're here at the beautiful Chapter 11 Theater to celebrate a holiday tradition that not only creates memories for the ages, but breeds resentments that last a long time...Nothing takes the sting out of a recession like watching millionaires present each other with gold statues."

I realize we watch movies to escape reality for a moment, and live in the magical world on the big screen before us.

Much in the same way, we escape the Sunday night reality to live for a few hours in the magical designer dresses and jewels, and witty banter on the screen before us.

The older I get, the more I realize I prefer my reality.  Oh don't get me wrong...I'd love to be able to pay off my home mortgage, and not to get a knot in my stomach when paying bills each month.  Sometimes I'd love to have a stylist, and a trainer, and a personal assistant, and a maid.  But, I'm guessing the magical moments and magical designer dresses on the  television screen aren't all they're cracked up to be, either. 

I have a strong suspicion those skinny actresses in their lovely designer dresses weren't munching on pizza and chips Sunday night, like my girlfriends and I were.  Probably many of those girls ate a stick of celery, and were wearing a whole lot of spandex.  Me?  I was wearing sweat pants.  In fact, my reality is a lot like those navy sweatpants I was wearing:  Laid back and little bit slouchy, but completely comfortable and  relaxed.

Oh, but don't think I'm on a soapbox here.  Because guess where I was Sunday night?  Sitting in front of the t.v.--watching the Oscars.  And loving every moment of it.  Feeling swept away by the creative montages, the hilarious jokes, the genius of Billy Crystal, and of course--the beautiful dresses!

So, let's get on with it!  Here are some of my favorite dresses of the night...

 

Top pick, hands down:

Emma Stone in her stunning, yet simple red flowing dress.  Simple hair, simple makeup: elegant!  Her Presenter banter with Ben Stiller was hilarious!  Love her!!!

And in no particular order, some of my other favorites...

  Cameron Diaz

 

Kristin Wiig

Lara Spencer

 

Lea Thompson

 

Octavia Spencer

 

Maria Menounos

 

Natalie Portman, in her elegant 1954 Christian Dior gown

 

And, now, for MY OWN, very special Oscar Awards...

*drum roll, please*

 

Actress's waistline most likely to resemble my wrist...

(except my wrist may be a little pudgier)

The beautiful, the witty, the very skinny Kelly Ripa

 

Actress most likely to slip out of her dress...

(and not in a good way)

Honey, your bosoms are showing Jennifer Lopez

 

Actress most likely to play a super hero

(But, looked simply lovely when she removed her cape)

 

Presenting Super White Girl powered by celery sticks Gwyneth Paltrow

 

Actress whose hair weighed more than her dress

(Which, by the way, is stunning)

You won't recognize her when her hair's wet Esperanza Spalding

 

Actress's leg most likely to get chilly

Or...

Actress most likely showing off her right leg in every photo of the night

Makes me wonder what's wrong with her left leg Angelina Jolie

 
To be honest...I didn't even get to watch all of The Oscars this year.  So, goodbye witty banter and beautiful dresses...  Goodbye sweatshirt wearing friends hanging out, and goodbye pepperoni pizza.  Back to reality... The reality that I'd promised to help my daughter type a paper and study for a grammar test.

A little escaping and a little magic is fun for a while.

But, reality is always there waiting for my safe return.

Did you escape reality last night?

Who were some of your Oscar Night favorites?

Getting Naked at the Doctor's Office

Oh, we've all been there.  Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about.  That moment of terror which begins as the chipper nurse leaves a very small folded blue and white paper on the examining room table, and says, "Go ahead and put this robe on, and the doctor will be here shortly."

Robe?  That tiny folded thing is a ROBE?  Looks to me like the doctor bought a faulty batch of these, cause this is a VEST, not a robe.

Oh, glory, I'd better hurry up.  That doctor will be here any minute, and I sure don't want him coming in--mid-change.

Oh, don't act like getting naked in the doctor's office doesn't bother you.  You know that the fastest you ever shed your clothes is at the doctors office.  First, you start off trying to fold your clothes neatly on the chair.  Don't want the doctor to think he's got a slovenly patient sitting on his exam table.  I mean--you did dress up for the visit, and the doctor doesn't even get to appreciate your early-morning accessorizing.  The least you can do is hang the cute scarf on the hook above your folded stack of clothes. 

Then.  Then, you reach that critical moment.  You know exactly what I'm talking about.  That point of no return, when you take off your shirt and begin removing undergarments.  You think at first, "All right.  This is okay.  I'm not feeling so self conscious. "  Then, you hear a nearby door open and close, and you're standing half naked in a strange office.  You're like a deer in the headlights.  Suddenly, you start flinging jeans off so fast you nearly trip trying to get your right foot out.  You actually have to hop a few times getting those jeans off.  And if you're really lucky like me--you grab at the paper gown so fast that it slides off the table and across the slippery floor.  Oh my stars!  I had to crawl around the exam table--while holding my important parts--just in case the doc walks in and wonders why in the world I'm crawling naked on his floor.  Whew!  I finally have the gown in hand, and I poke my arms through the holes like they are on fire.  I look down, alarmed, because this little vest is even smaller than it looked.  The thing barely covers my rumpus.

And, oh my word, my upper lip is sweating from the fast undressing maneuvers.  I climb up onto the exam table--so that I can be properly displayed once the doctor comes in.  The little vest barely covers me.  If my daughter ever wore a dress this short, I'd spank her behind.  But, I tug on it and pull it as closed as it will stay.  Dang it!  I tugged too hard, and split the paper up the front.   Now, I look like a little hussy in a micro mini paper vest--with a slit up the right thigh.  Might as well be wearing a pair of go go boots and some dangly earrings with this get-up.

But, I cross my ankles like a lady, and place my hands on my lap--covering the 4-inch jagged slit--and smile sweetly as the doctor enters the room.  Because, no, I don't have any issues at all with getting naked at the doctor's office.

Piece of cake.

 

(Why was I getting naked at the doctor's office?  Remember, I told you the other day how the dermatologist played Space Invaders on my back?)

*photo credit: Flickr Creative Commons

My signature look this winter

 I don't know why I have a closet full of clothes.  I am such a creature of habit...and comfort...that I wear my favorite outfits over and over again.  Take this winter, for example.  I have found my signature look--and I wear it over and over again, just mixing up the colors for fun.

Wanna see my signature look?

That sounds a whole lot fancier than what you are about to see...

Oh--and please pardon the goober quality of these pictures.  They are self-portraits--and the person IN the pictures is a big ole' goober.

My signature look consists of these elements:  (doesn't that sound fancy and official?)

-Fleece vest

-Comfy long-sleeve t-shirt

-Skinny jeans

-Scarf

 

Oh!  But look!  There's MORE!  Look, Marge, she has ANOTHER color vest!
 Ah, I do love that infinity scarf.  Note to self: Must buy another soft infinity scarf.  Love.

Oh, here's another love.  And this is SERIOUS LOVE.

These shoes:

Now, they may not photograph well, but I always feel sassy when I wear these shoes!  And bonus--they are some of the most comfortable shoes I own.  Love, love, love them.  I also love that I can wear fun socks that show...because they are Mary Janes!  Go on--buy yourself a pair!  (I bought them at a Shoe Carnival.  They are Rialto Comfort clogs...and I got them 65% off!!) 

Here's my last goober picture.  This may be my favorite fleece vest/long sleeve shirt combination. 

Red and black...truly, a girl's best color combination friend.  Always loyal, and tried and true.

Now, you think I'm kidding when I say that this signature look is what I wear every single day.  If you know me in person, you can attest to this statement, yes?  I just love the COZY feeling of a fleece, and I found that I have too many hot flashes if I wear a long-sleeve fleece.  So, the fleece vest is the perfect marriage of cozy, but not a contributor to hot flashes.  (Oh, you young girls just wait...)

One more thing I love about the fleece vest:  The pockets.  I am a real pocket girl.  Good pockets just make me happy.

Also, can we talk about scarves for a moment?  Does anyone else share the utter devotion to scarves that I do?  A girl cannot own too many cute scarves.

I wish I could say that I own fleece vests in a rainbow of colors.  But, alas, I only own 2.  Mostly because I am really picky about my fleece.  It needs to be the right weight--I don't like the lightweight ones.  Frankly, they hug too many curves, if ya know what I mean.  So, for now, I mix and match shirts to go with my black  and apple green fleeces.

Okay, I'm done now.  I know I'm no high fashion gal, and I'm no cutting edge trendsetter.  But, I must confess that I'm completely happy with my signature look this winter.  Happy, and cozy, and with little goodies stashed in my pockets.

What's your signature look this winter?

Household Hazards of Wearing a Scarf: Take Two

In honor of the glorious fall--scarf-wearing weather!!--I thought I would re-post this VERY IMPORTANT WARNING regarding the wearing of fashionable scarves...

This warning is for fashionable women everywhere who partake in the wearing of the oh-so-chic neck scarves.  Little do you know, Women of the Scarf (WOTS), that those very same accessories which bring you so much joy and confidence, may also bring injury...injuries so terrible that they may not be spoken on this family-friendly network.

In lieu of those terrible scarf injury descriptions, we have provided a pictorial reference.  Please, please print out these photos, and place them in those areas around your house you deem the most dangerous...to the scarf.

Our safety preparedness team has taken the ultimate precautions in producing these Scarf Re-enactments. WOTS, please DO NOT try this at home.  In an effort to educate the fashionable public, Scarf Professionals were used to pose these shots.  Again, DO NOT try this at home!! 

(No animals were harmed during this re-enactment)

  

BEWARE OF THE DANGEROUS SCARF AROUND THE HOUSE:

Danger danger, Will Robinson!!!  Do you see the scarf dangerously inching herself towards the searing red stove?  STEP BACK FROM THE STOVE.

"AAAAHHHHH!!!  Hot oven, hot oven!!"  That pesky scarf is not only slinking towards the red hot element, she is also dirtying herself on the greasy oven door.  Bad scarf.

Well, look who jumped out of the oven and into the frying pan...er, pan full of soapy bubbles.  Silly scarf, tricks are for kids!

 

WARNING:  The next pictures may be especially disturbing to some viewers.  Please use discretion.

The kitchen's not the only place that pesky scarf gets into trouble...  When working around toilets, be especially vigilant:  The scarf loves nothing more than skimming over the smooth porcelain to grab a quick dip in the cool water...  You certainly don't want anyone asking, "Where'd you get your clothes...from the...toilet store?"

And always, ALWAYS beware when practicing with your 1894 Winchester Lever Action around the house.  The scarf always says, "A gun is a tool MarytheKay, no better or worse than the woman who uses it."

 

We hope this Public Service Announcement was helpful to you.  Use extreme caution when wearing the scarf...or when accessorizing with anything fashionable.  Accessories are fun, until someone gets hurt.  Then, it's not fun.  It's un-fun.   

Please talk to you kids about scarves.   Talking to your kids about the dangers of the scarf isn't as hard as you think.  It just may save a life...or a really cute scarf you bought at Old Navy for like $12 with a 10% off coupon.

Thank you, and goodnight, good people.

(For more Household Hazard fun, click here!)

My Double Standard: A Well-Dressed Man

All right.  I'm going to put myself "out there" today.  I'm going to tell y'all something that I should probably just keep to myself. 

But, guess what?

I'm not going to keep it to myself.  I'll probably regret it later.  But, for now, this subject intrigues me.  In fact, it has intrigued me for a while now. 

Well, I might as well get on with it:  I have a double standard for women fixing up and wanting to look pretty, and men fixing up and wanting to look good.

Here's my double standard:  I don't always trust a man that looks really good, and really well-dressed.  Women?  It doesn't bother me one bit how "put together" a woman is...trendy clothes, highlighted hair, lots of make-up, trendy purse, trendy shoes--you go, girl! 

But a man?  What's that dude trying to hide?  Who's Mr. Cool trying to impress, huh?  It's not that a well-dressed man bothers me...It's more about the degree to which he is "fixed up."  It's more that a man who is well-dressed, AND has his hair gelled, AND has trendy facial hair is just too much for me.   Nope, I don't trust him.

Maybe it's a 3 strikes, and you're out...on MarytheKay's Don't Trust 'em List.

Trendy clothes - STRIKE ONE, but you're still okay.  Hey, good for you for trying out that v-neck t-shirt.  Frankly, seeing your chest hair has ruined my appetite, but more power to ya for trying to rock the fashion.

Trendy hair - STRIKE TWO, still okay, but you're pushing it.  Hey--a little gel sure beats the comb-over, right?

Trendy facial hair - STRIKE THREE.  JUST WHO are you trying to impress, Rico Suave?  And just why do you think facial hair floating all alone on a chin makes you more soul-ful?

Remember--it's not the facial hair that gives 3 strikes, it's the combination of ALL 3 THINGS together.

Know what I mean?  I know it's shocking that a thought inside my brain might not make sense...  So, I'll use some examples to help illustrate my point.

 

 
George Clooney - Trendy clothes, strike one; Trendy hair, eh...sort of strike two; Trendy facial hair?  Nah, not usually.  2 Strikes = I trust George Clooney 

 

 

 

 
EXCEPTION:  When he wears the 5 o'clock facial stubble on purpose.  Those days, I would not trust George Clooney.

 

 
John Krasinski - Trust him.  What a nice fella.

 

 

 

 

Johnny Depp - Oh, no.  3 strikes, totally.

 

 

 

 

 
Pa Ingalls - What do you think?  Trust him completely.

 

 

 
Sorry, fella.  3 strikes. 

 

 

 

 

 
Yoda - Trustworthy, he is.

 

 

 

Umm, no.  1 strike and he's OUT.

 

 

 

 

What do you think?  Am I just crazy?

How to clean Chaco and Teva sandals (and BEFORE and AFTER pics!)

 (Oh boy, am I going to embarrass myself with these before pictures...)

Once upon a time there was a girl who got a pair of Chaco sandals.  She loved those Chacos with all her heart.  They made her feet very happy.  She wore them nearly every day when the weather was nice.  She wore them so much, however, that they got very dirty and ugly.  She occasionally rinsed them off in the sink or shower, and once or twice swished them around in the (chlorinated) swimming pool to clean them. 

One day, Chaco girl realized just HOW DIRTY her beloved Chacos had become.  Looking down at her dirty blue Chacos made her feel very sad inside.  She knew something must be done to clean them.  And soon.

She searched around on the internet, and found out that cleaning them was actually easy!  "Hooray!" said Chaco girl. 

Chaco girl knew that if her dirty Chacos got clean again, she would share the news with the whole wide world...

So, here I am--at the request of Chaco girl--to show you how she cleaned her beloved Chacos...and how you can clean yours, too!

WARNING:  Do not view this picture if you are eating, or have a sensitive stomach.  Also, pregnant women should proceed with caution, as should small children sensitive to bad smells.

 

Chacos BEFORE cleaning:

 

HOW TO CLEAN CHACOS (and Tevas):

1. Place non-leather sandals inside a mesh bag (optional--just helps protect other clothes), and wash in washing machine on warm.  Use any non-bleach detergent, and wash with some towels or sheets.

2.  If sandals are especially dirty, use soft (old) toothbrush or scrub brush, and using warm water, gently scrub the footbed, as well as any straps that are especially dirty.  If an old toothbrush is not readily available, just use your husband's.  Be sure to put it back when you're done.

3.  Slide the underneath part of the strap out, and wash.  When sandal is clean, slide the strap back to where it was.  (This is called "flossing" the straps.  Sometimes grime and bad smells can be hiding on the strap inside the footbed.)

4.  My sandals were so dirty that I washed them in the machine a 2nd time.

 

All right, good people, are you ready for the AFTER pictures?

 

Chacos, after cleaning!  See how they sparkle?!

(Note the tiny drops of white spray paint on the straps...Do NOT spray paint in your beloved Chacos...)

 Go on--scroll back up to look at the nasty BEFORE pics.  Don't they look beautiful now?  So sparkly clean, and so good-smelling now.

Chaco girl says to tell you to scoop up your Chacos right now and toss them into the washer.   "Toss, toss, toss!" she says.  "Clean those Chacos for the good feet of all mankind!"
 
SPECIAL NOTE:  Do NOT wash your Chacos in the dishwasher.  First of all, that's nasty.  Secondly, the high temperatures may de-laminate your sole...which would in turn, de-laminate your soul.   (Get it?  Hardee har har.)  But, de-laminating soles is not funny, and should never be kidded about. 

Just curious--what's your FAVORITE SHOE in your closet? 

(Obviously, you already know mine.)  *grin*