Well, I had a happy post planned, complete with red, white, and blue pictures, as well as a WONDERFUL and EASY homemade ice cream recipe. But, tonight I am not feeling happy, nor wonderful, and my night has been anything but easy. Check back tomorrow for the happy-go-lucky post...
Tonight is one of those I feel helpless as a parent night.
Maybe by writing about it, I will gain some insight. Or maybe--one of you will read this, and just tell me what to do.
Because, I am wrung out, tired, and completely at a loss for what to do.
Here's what is going on...Our 5 1/2 year old has a very painful ear infection. It's her 2nd in a month, and our summer camp doctor suggested she take a round of Cipro this time. After calling in the prescription, we found out the liquid form of Cipro is a whopping $104!! Strangely enough, the pill form is $6. Seriously??? That makes no sense to me, Mr. Cipro!
So, my husband and I decided that for $100 savings, we were sure our 5 1/2 year old could learn to take a pill. Here's where the problem gets dicey. For her dosage, she needs to take 1 1/2 pills twice per day. The pharmacist had warned me that Cipro tastes very bitter...so I was already worried about that half pill being a problem to swallow for her.
"Problem" is the understatement of the century!! Wow. We spent a VERY STRESSFUL-- like Def-con 10 stressful--30 minutes trying every trick in the book to get her to swallow the pills. The only thing we didn't try was crushing it up in some applesauce, like the pharmacist suggested. (Crushing a pill, and obtaining applesauce requires some planning at a summer camp...Planning that I didn't, er plan for!)
I was hoping she would just take the pills, easy breezy, and put her head on the pillow and go to sleep.
When will I LEARN that with our 5-year-old "hoping" NEVER EVER WORKS??? Do any of you have children like this? Now, I certainly don't want this post to be one where I am using frustrated language about our daughter. Because, honestly, those are not my feelings tonight. My feelings are of helplessness.
I completely believe our daughter is not always capable of facing new or stressful situations. Sometimes, she surprises the socks off us, and doesn't bat an eye at certain things--like jumping off the high diving board repeatedly this summer! Or strapping up and going right up the climbing wall last summer. I was completely floored. The important distinction about these events, is that they were HER CHOICE, and on HER TIME SCHEDULE.
The fact that I don't believe our daughter is always capable of facing stressful situations really flies in the face of the way I was raised...and in my former view of parenting. Formerly (before parenting this daughter), I believed that some children acted like babies at doctors' offices or when getting shots or on the first day of school--because their parents had coddled them, allowing them to be big babies. I was a product of the "tough it out" parenting technique, and kind of prided myself in my ability to face difficult situations without flinching.
And now. Now, I have a child who I absolutely cannot force to do something she doesn't want. Like taking those pills. I guess I could have manually pushed them down her throat...but I guarantee she would have made herself throw up. Plus, that seemed a teensy bit extreme. I don't want to scar the poor child, who is genuinely scared of swallowing the pills.
No amount of soft talking or reasoning was going to help her swallow those pills. I tried everything in the form of talking, explaining, soothing, loud talking, threatening, snuggling, and even bribing.
Oh, and in case you are wondering, tonight was my attempt #3 today. I sure didn't wait until bedtime to try the first time. It was my final effort, and answer to her tears from a hurting ear.
I guess tomorrow I shall call the ENT doctor, make an appointment, and talk about options that don't involve pills for now. Perhaps a yummy gummy bear version of the medicine? Oh, I could only hope...
The bigger problem here for me is the helplessness. I have a child who suffers with anxiety in certain situations, and it feels like there is nothing I can do to help. I am a DOER. I am a HELPER. Yet, I have a child that sometimes I cannot help. Well, except to hold and comfort her, to accept her as she is--fears and all--and to find different ways of tackling the problem. I guess that's my answer, huh? It's not the answer I was looking for, nor the one I really want. But, if it is the solution that will work, I guess I will do what I can...
Feebly, blindly, battered and bruised, but with a love so big for my little girl, that I will try.
