I just loved this quote from a Bible study my mom taught recently. Just last week, she filled in for the regular teacher (Hi, Jeanie!!), and taught from Beth Moore's book on insecurity.
Here's the quote:
"My job isn't to change, it's to nurture."
WOW. That sentence just went ZING! straight to my heart. How many times have I had to learn the lesson over the years that it is not my job to change my husband? It's not my job to teach my husband how not to lose his keys...or where the pans are stored--the PAN cabinet, right?!!! (ruh-row, somebody's getting personal!!!)
Seriously, though. For some reason (maybe His sense of humor?) God made my husband and me--and even my daughters and me--completely different. No matter how specific I make my directions (oh, and believe me--they're specific!!), or even how loud I talk (yell)--my husband and my children aren't suddenly going to--poof!--become more like me.
The fact that I even want to change those 3 precious people is just selfish, isn't it? Who said I wrote the book on Being Right? (My husband is going to LO-OOOVE this post! Dang, why does he have to read this???) The fact that I would even believe that MY way of viewing (and organizing) the world is best is so completely narcissistic, it's embarrassing.
But, yet, that's how I live most of the time. Wishing everyone around me would be more like me. You know--more right. More organized. Kinder. Funnier. Picked up their socks more. (Oh yeah, I'm meddling now)
Wow, I think a lot of myself, don't I? It's a good thing I am so good at sweeping all my own ugly flaws into the dark corners. Otherwise, I couldn't look nearly as practically perfect in every way. And, what a shame that would be...
Since I accept my ugly flaws--hiding in their dark corners--why am I so frustrated by my loved ones' ugly parts?
If I'm okay with facing my ugly parts slowly, and at just the right time...why am I in such a hurry for my husband and daughters to fix theirs--RIGHT NOW?
All of these swirling thoughts are the reason why that sentence my mom spoke recently zinged me, and grabbed my attention.
"My job isn't to change, it's to nurture."
Okay, and I've been a little lighthearted so far. You know, I like to make the funny funny. But, to be completely honest and vulnerable for a millisecond...Marriage has been really hard for me. For us. It still is. Many times I feel like we are fighting about the very same things we fought about in Year One. And that depresses the heck out of me. And the fights are not always about the silly stuff I've mentioned...the socks, the pan cabinet, the lost keys. Sometimes it's the big stuff, the how do you compromise about that? kind of stuff that we have fought about for 20 years. The stuff that makes me think...even though I know I can't change my husband, it sure would make life easier if he would just change on that one little thing...
So, that's why that one sentence my mom spoke just zinged right into my heart:
"My job isn't to change, it's to nurture."
It's such a simple idea. But, hearing it in light of the things that, deep down, I really do want to change...it's revolutionary.
What if I really could just let go, and focus on nurturing? What if I could focus more on loving, and letting be? Is that even possible?
To be honest...for this OCD girl...letting go isn't easy. But, it IS worthy of trying.
Enough from me...and about me... What do YOU think? How do YOU let go and love?
How do you nurture?
"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins."
-1 Peter 4:8
Linked up with:
The Saturday Evening Blog Post at Elizabeth Esther
