I think I have the SGD. The Second Guessing myself Disease. Why do I question myself so much? Funny enough, I JUST second-guessed myself on an e-mail I sent about 2 seconds ago. What timing! I thought, "Maybe I shouldn't have responded so quickly. Maybe I shouldn't seem so eager."
Maybe? Maybe? What if?
I especially second guess myself when my daughters are involved. My husband was out-of-town this past weekend (Hunting Widow Season, you know!), and my daughters and I had a gloriously relaxed weekend at home. And when I say "at home," I mean we barely left the house. We got to sleep in late on Saturday, and I took a long Sunday afternoon nap. It was really wonderful to slow down for a weekend.
However, I spent much of that should-be-relaxing time worrying...and second-guessing my decision to stay home. I kept worrying that, instead of organizing and cleaning--and relaxing, I should have been setting up play dates for both daughters. I was also second-guessing myself--again--about our decision to homeschool. It's just that when I hear about spend-the-nights, or see pictures on Facebook of groups of girls hanging out together, I worry that our daughters are missing out on some friendships, or that we are too isolated at home for them to build strong relationships with others.
See what I mean? I have the SGD. Why am I not able to rest in my decisions, which usually have a lot of thought and prayer behind them?
My daughters seemed perfectly happy with a relaxed weekend at home. Not once did they ask to have a friend over, or even if we could do something different. That's not always the case--many times they use the "I'm bored" whining that absolutely drives me to crazyland.
But, this past weekend? I think they needed the relaxing weekend at home as much as their mama.
And guess what? So many times when I STOP the second guessing...and START praying about whatever it is I'm worrying about--God always answers. And sometimes He answers in the kindest way.
Late Sunday afternoon, after we had spent the entire day at home after church, I noticed a beautiful sound. The sound of two sisters giggling, and playing together. It was as if a gentle voice said, "Your girls DO have friends. They have each other. What friendship is more important?"
Ah. That is JUST what this second-guessing mama needed to hear. Thank you, God.
Rebecca wasn't feeling well Sunday night, so Sara Beth hopped on the couch to snuggle with her. She closed her eyes because she is a stinker, and didn't want me taking her picture!
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."
-Philippians 4:6-7
