MarytheKaytheBlog

We interrupt this content...for some commercials

We interrupt the regularly scheduled programming for

Some entertaining commercials.

 

Commercials that made me say, "Huh?"  "Seriously?"

 

What do you think?

 

We used to call those by a different name...and no, I am not going to say that name here because I don't want any weird searches landing on my blog because of it!  And you know you thought the SAME THING!!  We're all thinking it--but we're not going to say it, RIGHT???

And another thing...Does the plain button-down shirt really look any better?  I don't think so.

Okay, I admit--I thought this next one was funny!  It's my junior high humor showing through...

 

And...is it just me--or does anyone else GAG at the sight of the wad of dark hair on the white washcloth?   

Somehow, I don't think the nice ladies sitting by the pool are spraying their arm hair, do you?

 I sure hope no one was eating while watching that last commercial...

 

What do you think?  Which commercials do you love / hate the most right now?
 

I Let My Little Girls Watch The Bachelor (once)

Often, my friend Carissa has a Tell the Truth Tuesday.  Today, I'd like to join her, and tell my own little (horrible) truth.

  

Mind you--it's taken me months and months to be able to tell this truth.  And even now, my fingers hesitate on the keys. 

  

Deep breath, deep breath

  

This Truth Tuesday is in honor of last night's The Bachelorette--Hometown Visits.

  

Several months ago, or whenever it was that Bachelor Jake was sweeping all the young ladies off their feet, twirling them around in the air, and kissing on every stinking one of them...I might--or might not have--recorded the Hometown Visits episode of The Bachelor.

 

(Okay, for those of you who are shocked by this behavior, PLEASE, I beg of you in the name of all things family friendly, PLEASE just click on off this evil blog of reality t.v. trash.  Go on, click click.  Really--there is no need for you to continue reading.  I promise to write something uplifting and non trash-ish tomorrow.)

 

Disclaimer:  If you are still reading, you must know that I am conducting an informal scientific study on group behaviors.  Really.  Watching reality television is the only way that I am able to study the behavior of individuals in certain settings that make them act: A) totally crazy; B) totally dumb; C) all of the above. 

 

So, I recorded Bachelor Jake going on the hometown visits.  Here's where it gets tricky:  I am old school, and still record things on the good ole VCR.  For you young'uhns, this looks like a big giant cassette tape, and has about the same quality.

 

Anyway, since we are an old school family, we also have old recorded off t.v. Sunday Night Movies.  My daughters LOVE watching our old VCR copy of Star Wars.  (And, yes, our daughters know every single commercial jingle from that 1983 t.v. recording!)

 

You can probably guess what happened with the mama who doesn't multi-task very well, and the 5-year-old daughter who loves recorded t.v. shows/movies.

 

That particular Tuesday, Sara Beth asked if I would put in her Star Wars videotape.  At the same time, the phone rang.  I quickly popped the tape into the t.v. and left the room in order to finish my very important conversation.

 

How do I know it was an important phone call?  Well, because it was my sister and: A) we discuss world events; B) we make very efficient, quick phone calls; C) none of the above.

 

After about 30 minutes a while, my oldest daughter came into the room where I was still discussing world events on the phone, and asked, "Why are you letting Sara Beth watch The Bachelor?

 

Oh my heavens--I walked into the room, and there was Sara Beth propped up on her elbows, watching Jake woo a young lady and her family.  I couldn't hit that "Off" button fast enough, or hard enough.

 

And also, my face instantly blushed a bright beet red.  My mouth was moving, and there were fast words tumbling out of my mouth, but my brain was busy racing through the possibilities of what my girls had just watched, and what future psychotherapy they would need because of it.

 

"Mom!  Jake wasn't finished with the hometown visits!  Can we please just finish?  We want to know who he picks!" 

 

Oh, NO.  No you DON'T want to know who he picks, or HOW it turns out...

 

"Girls, what you have just watched is sort of like...Like King Ahasuerus in the Bible, when he sets out to find the most beautiful wife in the land...and settles upon Queen Esther..."

 

Okay, okay, since this is Tell the Truth Tuesday, I must admit, I didn't use that explanation.  But, I sure as heck should have.  It is a pretty good one, if I do say so myself!  Too bad, I thought of it about 4 months too late!

 

Linked up with:

 

Drumroll...We Have a WINNER!!!

Thank you, to the thousands of you who entered my 4th of July Trivia Quiz!!!  Okay, so not really thousands...but for those dedicated few, I thank you from the bottom of my heart!!  I DO love history, and I DO love you for taking the time even to read my little blog... 

And Do + Do =  Well, a little giggle, that's what it equals!!!  (My mama will be so proud...but she already knows my sense of humor is stuck in the junior high grade level!)

Without any more potty humor or joking around...let's get to the good stuff--THE WINNER!

I used Random.Org to generate a random number...and the winner of the FABULOUS PRIZE--which I am calling All American SUMMER FUN is:

 

Karen Lipford!!!!  Let's hear it for Karen, who knows her 4th of July history!!  Now, Karen, after you have bowed and given your acceptance speech, please e-mail me (see right-hand column for my e-mail) so I can award you the loot.

What's the loot, you ask?  Well, read on, my friend!

Presenting the All American Summer Fun Pack:

Includes all the elements of great summer fun!  (Well, okay, a lot of them anyway...)

 

1)  Summer Fun means marathon movie nights with the family!  And what could be better--or more fun--than to watch Little House on the Prairie--Seasons 1 and 2!!!  Oh my heavens, please do not tell me if you don't just love Little House...because then I would think you are a mean and shallow person.  Oh, how I wish they still made shows as wholesome and good as Little House.  (I hate to think about the stuff our generation of kids is growing up watching.  But, let's not go there today.  That's a whole other blog post.)

 
2)  What is more Summer Fun than S'Mores?  And what about having S'Mores during marathon movie nights??  Yesss.  Don't want to build a bonfire in your front yard to toast marshmallows?  Ya big sissy...  Have no fear--you can make them in the OVEN!!  I do love the clear instructions on how to do this on E-How. 

3)  Oh, and I do not want to forget the Summer Fun blue square bowl that I am including!  This plastic square bowl just says "Classy Summer Fun."  Trust me, it does.  Oh, but wait--there's more!  With this classy blue bowl you will also have a whole bagful of matching blue chip clips.  A house never has enough chip clips, in my humble opinion.  And now, your chips will all be matching, which is important.

4)  You know what else says Summer Fun?  Right about this time every summer, I have to start avoiding Walmart and Target...because they begin reeling me in with their colorful, long aisles of school supplies!!!  Oh, those tidy little rows of Crayons and notebooks and Elmer's glue...I just can't stand it.  Just one little item, or maybe 5.  Plus, school supplies are always handy to have around, right?! 

(What you WON'T see in this giveaway?  A pair of those $52 scissors!!!  Wow, they must cut really well.)

Oh, but we HAD to get the Love notebook.  Okay, so we bought 3.  Now, don't be selfish--we kept 2 of them for ourselves!  Surely you can understand why.  See:

I also included 3 organizational items that I ALWAYS have around:  A magnetic grocery list for my fridge, some blank note cards that I keep by my phone for messages and other lists, and magnetic clips for kids' artwork for the fridge--or for birthday/wedding invitations that I also hang on the fridge.

There you have it!  Some of my favorite things--Summer Fun Style!!!  I sure hope you enjoy them, Karen!  By the way, I would love to post a picture of your family enjoying some of these things, hint hint!!

 

Linked up with:

Survivor: Top 10 Ways it is NOT Real Life

Okay, I know I may be in the minority.  But, my husband and I still watch Survivor.  It seems like lately when I ask people if they watch Survivor, they usually pause and say, "Uh, I used to--the first or second season, like 10 YEARS AGO!  Well, I guess that makes my husband and me loyal kind of folks--because we're still watching! 

Last night was the Season Finale of Survivor's 20th Season--in my opinion, the best season yet.  To commemorate this 20th season, the show's creators made a brilliant decision.  They brought back some of the show's most LOVED players, along with some of the most HATED players.  They dubbed them the Heroes vs. the Villains.  The name alone set up the supreme drama--that played itself out in conniving, lying, and often hilarious scenarios.

In other words--a perfect recipe for REALITY TELEVISION.

Now, I know many of you are shaking your heads right now, saying, "That's exactly why I DON'T watch reality t.v."  But for me, a LOVER of people-watching, communication styles, and group dynamics--it is the IDEAL classroom.  See?  I can even make Survivor sound educational.  

If you did watch Survivor this season, I am guessing you were cheering right along with me for some of my personal favorite true-life heroes like Tom the 9/11 NYC fireman--you don't get more hero than that, or Rupert, the grizzled teddy bear that both laughs and growls with the same passion, and J.T., the good ole Southern country boy that you can't help but like.

And if those were the Heroes you loved, you probably also hated and yelled at the television screen at some of the Villains like Boston Rob, whose accent and trademark Boston Redsox hat almost made you forget about his conniving strategy.  Or Coach, I mean The Dragon Slayer, who gave CBS the most inspiring, laughably creative quotes in the history of Survivor.  It almost pains me to mention Parvati, the biggest flirt in Survivor's history.  I've saved the best for last--because truly, he is the most influential, conniving player in Survivor history.  Russell, good ole Houston oilman with a silver tongue (albeit tarnished) and a dagger hidden behind his back.  People might have hated Russell, but they couldn't help but be amazed by his artful strategy.  Somehow, the strategy he put into play, continued to be followed Tribal Council after Tribal Council.  How many surprise endings did my husband and I cry out in shock to our television, "NO WAY!!!"

Well, I could go on and on with my commentary on my favorite and most hated Survivor characters.  But, that might really bore you non-Survivor watchers.  Oh heck, who am I kidding?  Are any of you non-Survivor watchers even still reading?  Anyone?  Hello?  Is ANYONE still reading?  Make a noise so I know someone is still here...

Well, if any of you non-Survivor fans still ARE reading, you will be pleased to know...that I understand Survivor is not real.  As much as I love the drama and scheming, I realize how much of the show smacks of editing and scripting.  To prove to you that I understand your skepticism, I will make a list of 10 things that smudge the magic just a tiny little bit for me...

The TOP 10 WAYS Survivor is NOT Like Real Life:

 

10.  Something I noticed a couple of years ago, and it has driven me crazy since:  Teeth.  Have you noticed how perfect the contestants' teeth are?  Do they all get treated to last-minute dental aesthetics before dropping them on the deserted island?  Or do the contestants all use whitening strips at bedtime in their falling-down bamboo pole shelters?

9.  Eyebrows...I don't know about you, ladies, but if I go even a week without my trusty tweezers, my eyebrows do not look half as good as the Survivor ladies stranded for 39 days.  I wonder how one applies for that Survivor Eyebrow Waxing Job?  I'm sure, though, that person also has to be skilled in Male Facial Hair Grooming as well.

8.  Do you think the ever-lovable host Jeff Probst has to practice the words that EVERY seasoned Survivor fan quotes along with him week after week, "Come on in, guys!"

7.  The girls...Every woman knows what I am about to rant about, don't you?  This is the single reason I would ever stop watching Survivor.  I get sick and tired of seeing the flesh of the young girls.  I'm sure the producers are mindful that skin SELLS.  It just doesn't sell TO ME.  UGH.

6.  Which brings me to the next point.  Do the silly young women not know that ALL women back home play the game, "Real or Not Real?"  It's just so obvious, young ladies.  Leave a little something to the imagination, and we might not know your surgical little secret...

5.  In real life we rarely get to explain our motives in little cameo appearances.  Oh how I wish we could...  Wouldn't it be great to be able to explain away those difficult moments in nice little video edited cameos, and have all of America's empathy and cheers? 

4.  When life gets too difficult to handle, we don't have the luxury of being voted off the island.  We have to stick it out, and keep running the course.  Nope, no Ponderosa for us with the island's best chef making tasty desserts while we wait out the game.

3.  Sometimes you root for the villains.  I NEVER root for the villains in real life...so WHY was I rooting so hard for Russell to win?  I wouldn't get within 30 feet of Russell in real life, cause I'm scairt a him.  But, for some strange reason, millions of miles away, and in my safe little living room, I found myself rooting for him.

2.  How many times have I wished to have a great SOUNDTRACK showcasing my exciting and tragic moments.  I think great music like this would make all of my exciting moments so much more EXCITING, and my tragic moments that much more DRAMATIC, don't you?

1.   Wouldn't it be great to have a Jeff Probst in your life...telling you when it was okay to "Come on in, guys!" or as an encouraging bystander who cheers out in moments of trials, "Survivors ready?"  And most of all, when your days are coming to an end, wouldn't it be nice to have a dimple-cheeked Jeff Probst kindly letting you know when "The tribe has spoken" ? 

 

Now, it's back to my turn again...How is Survivor sometimes LIKE real life?

Or, in other words, How does Survivor un-smudge, and make the MAGIC SPARKLE for me?

This season, in the end, evil did NOT triumph.  The good did.  The loyal triumphed.  The one who was straight-forward, and transparent about her strategy won not only the hearts of her peers, but their votes as well.  Honesty whooped up on unscrupulous, and sent him packing (and without a hat!)  The wife of the American soldier currently fighting for our freedom--came out grinning, marching to the band, and waving her one million dollar check.

Hallelujah, and pass the remote!  It's time for the news.  Amen.

Friday Fun Facts: Pop Culture Edition

* Over-zealous announcer man voice: *

Well, HELLO, guys and girls, and welcome to a little slice of heaven here at MarytheKay dot com.  We'd like to welcome you here this bright and cheery Friday.  Come on in, grab a can of soda, a box of Hot Tamales, and find a seat down front.  You won't want to miss the hee-larious, knee-slapping antics of America's newest funny girl.  Here she is, folks.  Let's stand and give it up for the girl who made DORKY - FUNNY and COOL!!!

Hello, there.  I have no idea whatsoever what got into me up there...  I guess I was just day dreaming of the day David Letterman finally discovers me and invites me to sit in one of his chairs... Preferably on his show, if I had a choice.  Oh--which I guess is what "preferably" actually means.  Sorry to be redundant there and repeat myself once, and then again another time.

(Remember the dorky part, right?)

It's FRIDAY, kids--and you know what that means, don't you????  It means if you are at work, you are doing everything you can to avoid the workie work.  If you are at home, you are "doing your work on the computer"  to avoid the mopping and toilet cleaning.  (I used to giggle at myself when my 5-year-old was younger--and didn't know better--and I would tell her, "Let Mommy finish her WORK on the computer first, and then I'll play..."  Uhm, yeah, that "work?"  If Facebook, Scrabble, and reading blogs is work, then GIVE ME A JOB!!)

Please just excuse me a little bit... You know when I write a serious post (like yesterday), I get all itchy to loosen up and giggle again.  I start to fidget and squirm if I can't write a post where I use strange voices.  I know YOU can't hear the strange voices as I write these words...but just rest assured they are there.  And feel free to insert your OWN strange/funny voices.  Oh--but, NOT if you're at work.  Cause then your whole cover of "working on that report" will be blown.  Cause NOBODY uses funny voices when working on a report.  Unless the voice is to imitate your boss, and then you'll be busted for that, too.  Double whammy!

Okay, let's get the ball rolling here.  Enough talkie talk, let's get down to business here.  Since we've already established that it's FRIDAY and nobody wants to do any SERIOUS WORK, let's trade some FUN FACTS with each other!!!  Ooh, I LOVE these kind of games!  But, in order for it to be FUN, you have to PARTICIPATE.  Otherwise, it is just me calling out some random facts to myself...and that's a little creepy.  So, please help me not be creepy.

Let's label this edition Pop Culture.  All you serious non-fiction loving, non time-wasting fun haters go find a good news site to read, or go conjugate some Latin verbs.  We's a gonna play a little game here today.

Please answer these questions in the Comments section (Pretty please???)

 

1.  What is the most recent movie you have seen (in a theater)?

MtK:  The Bounty  Hunter.  Eh, it was entertaining.  I wasn't expecting much, so I wasn't disappointed.

 

2.  What are 3 current shows you watch/enjoy?

MtK:  Survivor (It's the only show my husband will watch with me--so I love that!), LOST, baby!!!  Yes, I'm in mourning that it is almost over..., The Office--I know, I KNOW--go ahead and judge me.  I just cannot resist a funny show...Brilliantly funny writing. 

3.  Name your all-time FAVORITE show growing up? (Favorite 2 if you are weak and cannot choose)

MtK:  Hands down--Little House on the Prairie.  I still love it.  It is not only a show, it is a WAY OF LIFE, people!  We own every single season on dvd...I don't own the Finale Show--does it exist on dvd?  Love love love Laura and Mary and Ma and Pa and Mr. and Mrs. Olson and Doc Baker and Nellie...Okay, I'll stop now.  Sorry.

Moment of silence, please:

4.  T.V. Show or Movie that you quote most often?

MtK:  Hmm, that's a good question, if I do say so myself...I'm going to have to think about this one...  Probably Steel Magnolias.  I probably quote stuff from there so much I don't even realize it...You are evil and you must be destroyed...I promise my personal tragedy will not interfere with my ability to do good hair...I love ya more than my luggage...

5.  Movie Star you think is the most likable?

MtK:  May I answer 2? (because I am weak and cannot decide)  I really like Jennifer Garner (she'll always be Sydney Bristow to me) and Reece Witherspoon, I mean June Carter, I mean Reece Witherspoon.  Oh my heavens--if Reece decides to play Pioneer Woman, I might just have to become a real-life Groupie.

6.  Favorite Game Show?

MtK:  Does The Amazing Race count?  Otherwise, it would have to be Jeopardy!  In the past, my sister and I swore we could totally win Supermarket Sweep.  We'd plan our strategy every single time we watched.  Health and Beauty Aisle first, people.  Then hit the meat section.

Well, that concludes our little game of Friday Fun Facts!  Tune in next week when we'll play once again...Unless I get distracted, and think of something ELSE fun to do...Whatever the case may be--we'll have fun...Because Fridays are all about FUN!!!

Okay, I'll re-post the questions, so as TO ENCOURAGE YOU to post your answers (hint, hint, nudge, nudge)  And also, so it will be easier to answer...

1.  What is the most recent movie you have seen (in a theater)?

2.  What are 3 current shows you watch/enjoy?

3.  Name your all-time FAVORITE show growing up? (Favorite 2 if you are weak and cannot choose)

4.  T.V. Show or Movie that you quote most often?

5.  Movie Star you think is the most likable?

6.  Favorite Game Show?

The End.  Happy Friday, Ya'll!!!
 

The garage sale is postponed...am I happy or sad about that???

Well, the big news around our house tonight is that our garage sale is postponed because of the chance of rain.  Actually, I guess it is not a "chance" if it is already sprinkling, is it?  I think the showers will clear out tomorrow morning...but we made the executive decision just to postpone it.  Thank goodness we didn't put our address in the paper!  Remember the little tricky trick I told you about in my garage sale post?

To be honest, I am actually happy we are postponing.  I know that means I have a whole bunch of c double r a p in our garage for an extra week...but I am just TIRED.  It's early to bed for me--where I will prop  myself upon my pillows and watch this week's LOST episode!!! 

So--let's compare...I could be outside organizing a bunch of dusty JUNK...

Or propped upon my pillows watching LOST.

Can you see why I am a little happy?

In other news...My cute girls got haircuts today!  Oh me, oh my--are they ever CUTE.  There is nothing like a little haircut to improve the sassy quality in a girl.  Here--I'll show you!

Sweet, sweet girls...even when they are not always helpful with the garage sale organizing...but could you stay mad at these precious faces?   Oh, how I LOVE these girls like they are my own.  Oh yeah--they are my own!  Well, that makes me love 'em even more!!

Tomorrow I will be walking with my dear friend on the Walk MS...Walking to Create a World free of MS.  Now, wouldn't that be wonderful?  My friend who has MS sure is wonderful, and I would walk to the ends of the earth for her if it meant erasing the dumb, stupid MS.  But, I think tomorrow is just a couple of easy miles.  If you think of it this weekend, please say a prayer for my friend...and all who are learning to live with MS. 
 

Happy weekend, all!!!

And now...a little LOST...aahhhh....

 

Things that Bug Me, Bachelor Edition

First in a series of super positive, fascinatingly profound things that bug me...Bachelor style

 

Episode 6…How you taunt me with your understated depth…

 

(Disclaimer to my Mama, and any Sunday School teacher I have had in the past…

I know, I know what you are going to say…Pure Trash.   And I agree.  However, since I was a speech communication minor in college, I consider watching this show a way of say, brushing up on my interpersonal communication research.  And, honestly, I’m not kidding that much.)

 

And now—back to the Things that Bug Me:

Do I even need to elaborate?  Raise your hand if you agree!

 

I don’t dislike her…but, bubbala, we understand you’re insecure.  Didn’t your mama see it in those cards of hers that nail biting is totally and emphatically unattractive?  And the babytalk.  I. Can’t. Take. It. Anymoooore.